Letter to my Daughter

I thought I had a while before I had to worry about boys, sex, drugs and other perfectly normal but still terrifying things that teenage girls go through. I don’t. It’s here. And it smacked me right in the face. How do we approach this time in their lives? I mean.. parents don’t know anything right? We haven’t lived through any of it. We have no idea what that are talking about. We have no clue what they are dealing with. At least that’s what my daughter would say. 

My ex husband and I got divorced when my daughter was very young. Most of her life I’ve lived in another state. I’ve been there the best that I could given the circumstances. But it’s taken a toll. It’s getting much better as she has got older, but there are still future hardships to go through. So I decided to write this post and share it in the hopes that one day she will know how important she is. How very important this time in her life is. And so she will know she was never alone. 

    Dear sweet, sweet girl,

       I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You were lying there taking your first breaths, filling your Dad and I with so much joy. So tiny, yet I already knew that you were going to be amazing. You would blossom into this gorgeous, strong willed, incredibly smart 14 year old teenager. 

      I am writing this letter to tell you how important you are. To tell you that just because I’m your mom, it doesn’t make it any less true. You are IMPORTANT. Every decision you make in these years will effect your whole life. They will shape who you are as a person. As an adult. They will make you into who you will be as a wife, as a parent, and as a friend.

    So please please.. even if its just this once… Listen. 

    • Listen to your dad. Listen to me. Listen to your gut. Your gut is your best friend  hands down. No matter what life throws at you. Don’t second guess it. Ever. It will give you more knowledge about the unknown than anything else will in your entire life. It’s an alarm. It’s your very own security system against danger. Trust it. Listen to it. Never leave home with out it
    • Friends come and go. You will learn during these years that not everyone is your friend. Not everyone will keep your secrets. You will have friends who lead you down the wrong paths. Let them go. Let it go. It’s OK. As you grow you will find new ones. Better ones. Ones who will challenge you to be the amazing person you are. Be patient. They will come.
    • Boys suck. It’s true. They do. Sure, they are so charming and handsome, but they suck. They will make your heart hurt in ways you didn’t think possible. You will think you have to be a different version of yourself to make them happy. You don’t. Be the best version of yourself for you! Not a boy! Because one day a man will walk into your life and will take care of your heart. And you will see what I’m talking about. Trust me. I know from experience. 
    • Sex isnt something you do for fun. Don’t get bullied into sex. Don’t make yourself a sex object. Respect yourself. You are more than a piece of meat. Sex isnt “fun” when your a teenager. There are so many dangers you need to be careful of. Sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, rape. Be smart. Use that beautiful brain and wait for a man who will respect you. Always say no when it doesn’t feel right. And don’t be afraid to ask us for help. Ever. Without judgement. If you must make the decision to have sex. Use protection. Make it with someone you trust. Or better yet someone we trust. There are no guarantees in this life. Be careful. 
    • Smile. Every single day. Your smile is magical. Don’t let things weigh on your heart. Your life is long and valuable. Don’t waste it being sad. Those things won’t matter twenty years from now. Right now I know it hurts. But it won’t forever. So smile. Let it go!
    • Don’t do drugs and alcohol. This one is tricky. At some point in your young teenage life, you will be offered a beer. You will be offered a joint. Use your head. There’s plenty of time for “trying”. There’s plenty of time for “experiments”. Now is not the time. Your too impressionable. Don’t let your friends dictate who you are! Be yourself. Do what you want when your ready and not a single moment before.
    • There’s time. You have all the time in the world baby girl. Don’t let your life be a rush and go kind of thing. You don’t have to fit in. You can stand out! Be daring, be different! Follow your brain not your heart. It will take you to the most amazing places!
    • Always be kind. Always. No matter what life has thrown you, be kind. Not everyone will have the life you have. Each and every person goes through battles that you can’t imagine. Be there for them. Show compassion. It will be what separates you from the rest of the world.

        You are beautiful. You are kind. You are wise. You will make it through all of the things life throws at you during this time. You have already made it through so much. Look back at the things that you thought you wouldn’t get through. You made it! So have faith. You will survive. You come from a long list of survivors. So when you feel like you can’t possibly take anymore. Come to us. Come to me. Come to your dad. We will remind you! I will remind you! He will remind you.

        And I’ll buy you ice cream. Because everything is better with chocolate chip cookie dough.

        I love you sweet girl. Be brave. Be strong. You will be amazed where it will take you in your life!

        Love your very proud and often very  terrified mom.

        It’s all in a Name

        Sooo here I am again. Waiting for that school day to end. Hoping my 6 year old is in a fabulous mood when she gets home. I sat here thinking about what to write about it and I had, yet again an ah ha! moment. The name of my blog. 

        So Kuddos and Kiddos. Is it because it was easy to spell? No. What about easy to say? Nope. It wasnt even because everything else was taken. Shocker. I mean it’s hard to come up with a name for something when the good ones are taken right? 

        My blog is Kuddos and kiddos because if you’re a parent, any parent. Man or woman. Mom or dad. Foster or not. Step -parent, gaurdian and the like…     I am sending you KUDDOS!  I mean come on people! This parenting stuff is hard! It’s not at all what they said it would be. It’s not all magic rainbows and brightly colored unicorn poo. It’s ups and downs and sideways and backwards. It’s emotions you didn’t know you had. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting. I mean that. You’re exhausted ALL THE TIME. 

        There’s a constant wonder. Constant. Am I doing this right? Should I do this instead? Am I missing something? Will they grow up right? Will they be well adjusted human beings?  

        The answer… Probably. Probably not. Who really knows right? We are just winging it. Day by day. Minute by minute.With everything. Literally everything. 

        We as parents, know what works for us. We know our kiddos better than everyone. Which is why I’ve named my blog Kuddos and Kiddos. It fits. It’s perfect. Some days I need more kuddos than others. Sometimes we parents need a little pat on the back. So if you need one… If parenting gets you frustrated and emotionally unstable, head this way… I’ll be here. I will gladly give you the kuddos you desperately need. 

        But I may also give your kiddos a loud and annoying toy to take home too. Or a pixie stick. Maybe a Pepsi.. you never can tell.. 

        Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

        25 Followers! Woo!

        So 17 days ago I started a blog. I have no idea what I’m doing. Seriously no clue. It’s basically been a trial and error type of situation. I write about whatever comes to mind or personal stuff that has happened. Still getting the hang of this thrilling experience. The photos, the spacing, the trying not to give myself away when I write.  Because I know if some of my friends read this they would probably guess immediately. Haha! Still not read to introduce myself just yet. But I’m so thrilled that people either have liked what they’ve read.. or can relate. After all, all we really need is someone to relate to. Someone who understands what we as parents, daughters, wives, and hell just as humans go through. 

        I wasn’t sure what to expect. But today I hit 25 followers! That may not seem like a lot to you. But I am over the moon! I was just sure that no one would be interested in anything that I would have to share. And here I am moving forward. 

        So thank you very much everyone! Thank you for tuning in to my not so glamorous but often humourous life. I hope that when I laugh, you laugh. I hope when I cry, you laugh.  I mean seriously if I can’t laugh someone should.  Again, thank you. It means more than you know!

        Here’s to more posts and more laughs! 

        Hugs! – kiddos and kiddos 

        Normal

               So this might come as a shock, but I’m not your normal mom. I mean what is normal anyways? Seriously? Normal. Pfft. I don’t have a clue what that is.

               I know for me normal is a screaming toddler in your arms because she refused to walk and hold your hand through the parking lot. Normal is putting that toddler in the car seat, but appearing like you are wrestling a rapid alligator. Normal is getting all the groceries in the car and only ripping three bags. It’s also climbing under the car to reach a can of green beans that the toddler wont even eat when you slave over dinner anyways.

               Normal is changing the sheets on your kids bed three times in an afternoon. Tripping over a really, really loud toy in the middle of the night and waking up the baby. It’s pushing a stroller, holding a dog leash and carrying a box of cupcakes. It’s dropping those handmade deliciously amazing cupcakes in the floorboard of your car and having to go to the store and buy store-bought at the last minute. It’s cleaning up another mess the dog has left in the floor and listening to your child cry about her now seemingly dead bear in the floor.

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                Do you want to know what else is normal? Spending HOURS cleaning your child’s room (you pictured that mess didn’t you?), only for them to Completely Destroy It. Normal is dropping an already warmed up formula bottle in the floor without the lid at 3am. Having to go back and forth to your car carrying a baby and Christmas packages into the post office. It’s telling your kiddos to do stuff over and over only to do it yourself anyways. I mean why bother right? It’s burning dinner. Normal is kiddos running through the house screaming.

                That is the everyday norm of a SAHM. Hell that’s the everyday normal for all moms. Literally EVERY SINGLE ONE. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. If you’ve been a mother for any decent amount of time and it still hasn’t… I would like to say that you are my hero and you should email me at kuddosandkiddos@gmail.com so that I may find out your secret!

               Normal isn’t all bad. It’s giggles and hugs. Sloppy kisses and laughter. It’s looking at the angelic face of your kiddo sleeping. It’s watching them grow and learn. But those bad normal days, they make you feel defeated as a mother. They make you want to throw in the towel and crawl into bed. But rest assured, there are better days to come. When you feel like you can’t go a step forward… Breathe! We are so lucky to have been blessed with the opportunity to raise these tiny humans. We get to shape the future of the world. With smashed banana in the floor, permanent marker artwork on the walls and all.

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               Hugs – Kuddos and Kiddos

        photo credit: r_ockle Artist’s Hands via photopin (license)

        photo credit: docoverachiever N04/23835028019″>Eviscerated via photopin (license)

        photo credit: Pensive glance Silhouettes via photopin (license)

        Sewing the Stress Away

         

        A few years ago I asked my husband for a sewing machine. I’d never used one. I had no idea how to use one, but I wanted one. I wanted to sew. I wanted to create things. I wanted to share my crafty gift with my friends and family. What better way to that? Get a sewing machine.

        I was always a crafty person. I grew up doing different crafts as a kid. When I was 16 my Aunt bought me my very first cross stitch kit. I was hooked after that. I continued to do cross stitch into my adulthood. I went from cross stitch to hand sewing, embroidery, felt and paper crafts, you name it.

        Now I have a Brother sewing machine. It’s not super fancy. It doesn’t do embroidery or have a long arm. It does have multiple stitches though and it’s computerized. I love it. I love putting pieces of fabric together to make something. It’s magical.

        The first time I made something on my sewing machine (it was curtains, I know easy right) they were crooked and the seams were terrible. It was so funny and frustrating. How could curtains be hard?! Well they were, but they are still hanging on the window. I was so proud.

        Now I try to make things for everyone. I haven’t had a lot of time to sew lately. Mom life had me stressed out and busy and I left my machine in the case. Just screaming at me to get it out. Finally today, I decided to make time. I remember now how much I miss making things. I feel better. Less stressed. Relaxed.

        My kiddos get to watch me work and they love it. My 6 year old is excited when I get my machine out. My toddler is trying to figure out what it is. She likes to catch me off guard and sit on my foot under the table. Luckily for me I have a seam ripper. Haha!

        I enjoyed sitting and sewing. I call it sewing the stress away. I have to pay too much attention to what I’m doing to think bout anything else. I sew during naptime, after bedtime and while my husband is home. My little escape from reality. Sometimes I have to stop and let my toddler crawl in my lap to get loves. It’s worth it. Always worth it.

        I have big plans for this year. Every year I say that. Every single year. But this year will be different. I need to preserve my sanity and being in front of my sewing machine, does that for me. So here’s to a brand new year! Thanks for reading!

        Hugs! -kuddos and kiddos
        photo credit: pipnstuff <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/22452330@N00/3177724054″>snippity snip scissor earrings</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

        It’s the Little Things

        So tonight as I gave my toddler a bath I realized something. I don’t notice too many of the little things. Im always in a rush. For example…

        This little guy (the plastic stingray bath toy pictured above) is the best toy ever. Let me explain.. My daughter is almost two and she is still learning the ins and outs of day to day life. She is a curious little bugger. She’s also scared of this stinking toy. It fills up with water and then squirts it out when you squeeze it. She’s never noticed that it did that before. So of course when I squirt her with water… She FREAKED. She wasn’t terrified, but it was a ” what the hell is that” moment. And quite frankly.. it was hilarious!

        I have never laughed so hard at something so little. I know I shouldn’t be laughing. I mean seriously the poor thing. She had no idea what it was. I filled it up and again, I squirted her with water. And again, she started climbing up the wall. She wasn’t crying. She didn’t ask me to pick her up. She just wasn’t sure how to take it. By the end of the bath I convinced her to try it herself and she squeezed it and laughed, drenching me with water. It was the longest bath she’s probably ever had because I was completely smitten with her. Her curious nature brightened by this tiny little bath toy.
        I need to notice these things more. The little things. The smiles. The thought processes. My kiddos have so many  ah ha! Moments that are apart of who they are as tiny humans. These little moments are what will instill the knowledge necessary for them to develop and grow.

        And I’m missing it.

        I’m cleaning. Playing on my phone. Watching Netflix. Running errands. I’m doing all of the things that make my family run.  Mommy is way too busy to look right now. Hang on a second. I will in a minute. Maybe tomorrow. I need to slow down. The dishes will be there in the morning. The laundry will be OK. I need to be present. I need to pay more attention to the little things. After having this ah ha!  Moment myself, I plan to start doing just that.

        Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos
        photo credit: tokyovisitor22 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/142976923@N06/30863282682″>I’m home – おかえり</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

        Bedtime Funtime


        So it’s almost 10pm. My almost 2 year old toddler is running around like somebody gave her some cocaine. They didn’t of course. (Just in case someone thought I was serious ;)) but seriously…  Why isn’t she tired?!? She didn’t have a nap. She has been awake for going on twelve hours. Twelve. What gives?

        Part of that SAHM stuff. That #momlife. That super hero in need of a cape stuff. How many of you have kids who make their own sleep schedule? Trust me I’m big on schedules. I wait after dinner for the bedtime rituals. I mean, come on! I check the clock every thirty minutes! Is that bad? No. No it isn’t. I love my kiddos with every ounce of my soul. But bedtime. That’s a magical moment in most mom’s days!! 

        So seriously back to the toddler… Who gave her candy? Fess up… It’s important that I know who to send her to the next time she is having one of those super fun days. You other moms know what I’m talking about! 😉

        Here’s to a quick bedtime for my little one. Good luck to those of you having the same kind of night!

        Hugs- kuddos and kiddos 
        photo credit: ohmil <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/87084289@N05/8028084879″>Traffic</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

        Crazy Doesn’t Define Me.

        So here I am again. Twice yesterday someone called me “crazy”. All in good fun of course, but my brain shuts down on me and goes Are you crazy? Is that what they really think? Unfortunately for me I’ve played along and made jokes my entire life about how “crazy” I am. 

        Here’s the definition of crazy. 

        cra·zy

        ˈkrāzē informal adjective

        mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way “Stella went crazy and assaulted a visitor” synonyms: mad, insane, out of one’s mind, crazed, lunatic, non composmentis, unhinged, mad as a hatter, mad as a March hare;

        Extremely enthusiastic “I’m crazy about Cindy” synonyms: passionate about, (very) keen on, enamored of, infatuated with, smitten with, devoted to; 

        adverb NORTH AMERICAN I’ve been crazy busy”

        noun NORTH AMERICAN

        mentally deranged person

        (Sorry about the spacing for some reason it won’t fix.)

        Well I’m not. I’m not crazy, crazed, cray cray or the like. I’m your friend, your daughter, your niece, your cousin, your wife. I’m a mom. I have been though a lot of things in my life. A Lot. That would make anyone feel and act differently. But I’m not crazy. I stand up for myself. I fight. I yell. But I’m not crazy. I’m a mom, I’m a chaperone, I’m a dishwasher. But I’m not crazy. I’m a cook, a maid, a singer, but I’m not crazy. 

        I have a mental illness that effects my ability to control emotions. But I’m not crazy. 

        I have bad days, and good days and mideocore days. But I am not crazy.

        I don’t know why it’s now that this bothers me. But it does. It almost hurts my feelings when it’s said. Trust me I know that no one else means it the way that I take it. I know they are using “crazy” as a form of fun. It’s not. 

        So in conclusion. I’m not crazy, and I’m pretty crazy about it. 

        Hugs – kuddos and kiddos

        Stranger Danger

        So yesterday I came home to someone lurking on our property. He claimed he had just knocked on the door, but pulling In I could tell he was snooping around. After he left I couldn’t shake the feeling that we may not have seen the last of him. Turns out he’s a known theif and he appeared to be on something. He was all over the place and I could barely understand what he was saying. 

        Turns out, it was apparently a day for issues with strangers because my 6 year old came home from school with a piece of paper talking about the important role we have as parents to make sure our kiddos understand things. Like gun safety, strangers, abuse and others. 

        So curious, I asked my daughter what she should do if she is ever confronted by a stranger. Of course she said ” run to you or daddy”. The innocence of that answer made me nervous and I realized that she had no idea what to do. What if her daddy and I weren’t there? What if she was alone? What if I couldn’t keep her safe? 

        Today’s world is a crazy one. Wait.. you know what that is a giant understatement. There are so many terrible, horrible things going on in the world and as a mother, I’m drowning over here in cuddles and little giggles to take it seriously. I need to make sure my daughters and my son know what they can do to protect themselves. To remove themselves from dangerous situations. Or at the very least, give them the knowledge necessary to help. 

        So needless to say tonight is “Stranger Danger” night at my house. And hopefully it will help keep my kiddos safe and give me a little piece of mind knowing that they have the tools necessary to keep them out of danger. 

        Hugs- kuddos and kiddos

        photo credit: paul_appleyard <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/20342758@N00/25355646412″>Camberley 2 March 2016 041</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;
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        Feeling accomplished

        Today I rocked at mom life. I mean rocked it. The kids were fed. The dogs were fed. The laundry is done … Well not anymore. But it was I swear! The dishes are done. I played blocks today. I read a book today. I went outside (gasp) and got the mail.  I made tortellini for dinner. My daughter’s homework is done. Her backpack is hanging up for tomorrow and shes bathed and in bed. My mini is relaxing on the couch next to me about to fall asleep. I mean hot damn y’all .. I rocked it. 

        I actually have nothing else to do. Nothing. I can sit back and relax. Do you know how long it’s been? AWHILE. 

        It makes you think about all the rush rush rush of mom life. I’ve been going non stop for days. I find myself so busy. Always moving. Never really accomplishing anything. There’s always one more plate to wash. One more thing to do. Not tonight. I am taking off. Done. This mama has left the building. I’m going to take a really long shower. Then Maybe  I’ll sew something. Maybe I will have ice cream and watch TV. Maybe I’ll read a book. 

        Ha. No. Who am I kidding? I’m going straight to bed! 😂

        Hugs! – kuddos and kiddos