Don’t Lose your Identity in Parenting

I have spent most of my adult life taking care of tiny humans. Feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up random messes all over the place. I have worked myself to exhaustion. I have survived little to no sleep. I have screwed up all kinds of stuff. I’m almost always running late. From sun up, to sun down, I’m constantly cleaning. Always doing something for someone else. 

Just because we are parents doesn’t mean we should forget who we are as people. Quite often we lose our identity. We sacrifice so much for the people around us. 

In the fuss of being a parent, I sometimes forget to take care​ of myself. I’ve been slowly letting bits and pieces of myself go in order to take care of my tiny kiddos. It’s a problem a lot of parents face and it needs to stop. 

In order to be the best parents we can be to our kiddos we need to embrace ourselves more. Stop letting go of the very things that make us who we are. How can we nurture our children to be their own individual people, if we are not doing those things too?

Sometimes we get lost in the parenting. I feel myself become a bitter, angry person when I’m overwhelmed by the day to day mom life. I am constantly taking care of other people. Doing things for other people. I shop for other people, make food for other people, think for other people even. I clean up after other people. Not just my kids, but also my husband. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I don’t want to do those things. Maybe I just want to do something else once in awhile. 

I love to sing. It’s a passion. There’s nothing better for a stress reliever than belting out a few songs at karaoke. But, once I became a mom, it became less and less. I also love to sew, but I don’t ever seem to have the time. I’m more concerned about getting the dishes done and the laundry washed. I literally have no time to do any of the things that make me, me. Hell, sometimes I’m lucky to get a shower. 

Problem isn’t that I can’t do it, it’s the guilt when I do. Why do I feel guilty? I shouldn’t. My kids are healthy and taken care of. My husband gets no less of a woman if I do something for myself once in awhile. I shouldn’t sacrifice my passions to be a parent. No one should. It’s a part of who you are. 

You need to take that long hot bath. Go out with the girls and have some fun. Go fishing with the guys. Go see a movie.  Sit on the front porch and soak in the beautiful evening sky. Don’t be afraid to take that five extra minutes for yourself. Your​ children will be fine. When they see that passion in your eyes, they will love you more for it. Don’t let your identity as a person be that your a “parent”. You are so much more than that. 

So don’t forget to be yourself. Make time for yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do for your child. 

Hugs! – Mama Kuddo

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photo credit: Infomastern <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/55856449@N04/33504742072″>Trees at Sunset</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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