Little Things Husbands Do That Drive Us Nuts

As mom’s and wives we have a certain level of tolerance when it comes to things that our family in the household do on a daily basis. 

We clean up everyone’s crap without batting an eyelash, and with little to no sleep. We cater to every tiny thing without so much as smudging our non-existent make-up. We stay up late and wake up early. We have been peed on, puked on and had food in our hair. We have been overwhelmed and down right EXHAUSTED. 

So for the love of donuts stop doing things to anger the momster. You know our pet peeves, most of them, so stop. Just stop it. 

Stop leaving your shoes in the middle of the living room floor. We cleaned that room forty times today. We will have to clean it forty more times before the kiddos go to bed. We are not going to be of any help at all, when we get up to comfort kiddos who have nightmares, and we fall over your crap and break a leg. So pick up your crap sir.

Stop leaving the cap off the toothpaste. I realize this is such a tiny thing, but nobody wants to brush their teeth with dried out mint. If that was the case we would grow a mint plant. So take two seconds and put the cap on. Do it. Did you forget? Go. Go now. 

Let’s talk about coffee spoons. It goes in the dang sink. Or even better, the dishwasher. You know that expensive piece of equipment that y’all buy us Moms to “help” us. The one nobody knows how to use but us? Also, stop dipping that spoon into the sugar. Stop it. You clump the sugar up. It’s annoying. 

Stop leaving the toilet seat up. We don’t want our tired butts hitting freezing cold water at 3am. The baby is awake for the third night in a row and I get it you don’t hear them like we do. It’s amazing what kind of super sonic hearing moms have. But, when we get up to pee before we tackle another hour long adventure with our bundle of joy, it would be nice not to fall in the toilet. Stop it. Seriously.

Stop leaving your hair in the sink. Look we get it. Men want to do the minimum amount of cleaning possible. After you’ve been with someone awhile there are just certain things we figure out about you guys. But how would you like it if we shaved our legs and umm, other areas, over the sink you brush your teeth in? I realize it’s just facial hair boys… but when you lean down to brush your teeth and your staring at tiny little hairs… well, clean that crap up. 

Change the stinking toilet paper roll! If you finish using the toilet paper, throw on another one. Chances are we have lived in the same house together long enough for you to know where we keep the new rolls. So don’t take the new roll out of the cabinet, use it and then set it on the sink. It goes on the holder. Thank you. 

Stop leaving your laundry on the floor, NEXT to the hamper. We pick up things off the floor from sun up to sun down. We don’t want to pick up after you too. Not really. So if you can’t take that extra step towards adulthood and helpfulness (I say that with the most pleasant voice ever) and pick up your stinking clothes and put them in the basket RIGHT in front of you, so help me…

The things we go through everyday to make sure the household runs smoothly are interrupted momentarily by the little things that you wouldn’t think twice about. I can’t tell you enough how many times a week I sigh from these little pesky things. I’m sure you dads have pet peeves too. Our hair on the shower stall, all of our crap on the sink, along with countless others. But we clean up the house everyday. WE do. Help us out man.

-Kuddos and Kiddos

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I Let My Kids Eat Things That Fall In The Floor

Ok so my kid is famous for eating things that have fallen in the floor. Shocking. I consider myself a clean mom. I don’t like germs and I want everything to at least be “lived in” around my house. But, let’s be honest here…my floor isn’t sparkling clean and there are some things I totally let my kids eat after it’s hit the floor. 

1. Chips.  Look I have dogs. Most of the time my dog will get that stinking chip before it ever gets picked up by my toddler, but if it doesn’t, I’m not dealing with the stage 4 meltdown that will ensue if I take that chip out of her hand. No way am I doing that. 

2. Cookies. Have you ever tried to give your toddler a cookie at a table? I have. She ends up dropping it on the floor. Every single freaking time. So, I’m not wasting cookies, especially since that means I’d have to break out my secret stash. Do you want to do that? No. So just blow it off and hand it back. 

3. French fries. So everybody knows​ if you leave fast food fries in your back seat for three years, they look EXACTLY the same. So why am I going to snatch it from my toddlers hands when she picks it up off the floor? I’m not. She can eat it. Five second rule after all. 

4. Pop Tarts. So I’m that mom. I’m not cooking a buffet for breakfast. My kids are picky, so sometimes I hand them pop tarts to save my sanity. So when my toddler is super excited and goes running across the living room floor with a pop tart in hand, only to fall down and drop it, she’s crying enough for the both of us. I’m not​ going to break her little heart by taking her food. Nope.

5. Pretty much anything that isn’t wet food. Seriously. If it’s not wet, the chances of dog hair or other unique tiny items, touching the food when my kid picks it back up is slim. So again, just so we’re clear, I’m not fighting my kiddo… She can definitely pick it up and stick right into her mouth.
There are so many different reasons​ to let or not let your kid eat things that have touched the floor. I’m not an animal… Or am I? … Obviously, I don’t want my kids to get sick​, or poisoned. As a mom though, I’m pretty positive that we fight enough battles without adding this small thing to the list. Of course I have standards. Again not an animal. 

I am picky about who’s floor it is they eat off of. For reasons I’m sure I don’t have to mention, Walmart’s floor is out. They can’t eat off the boat floor, they can’t eat things of the floor of my car either. I wouldn’t let them pick up a cookie in the parking lot, but I’m going to be sad it wasted. Can you tell I like cookies? 

There’s a few things I don’t let my kids eat off the floor without at least rinsing it off.  

1. Hard candy/ lollipops –  a little bit of water and BOOM, good as new. 

2. Ice Cream – There isn’t much you can do when an ice cream cone lands on the ground. Except wine. Wine fixes that.. well, for us anyways. My kid is going to be seriously mad though. I wouldn’t let her share an ice cream cone with the dog either. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to buy multiple ice cream cones. It’s insane.

3. Gum – That’s gonna be a hell no. My toddler doesn’t chew gum, but my six year old does. There’s no way she’s chewing it after it has hit the ground. No stinking way. 

Some people will agree with these lists​. Some people will be shocked that I even suggested that my kids eat things​ that fall in the floor.  Which is what I said, not “my kids eat off the floor”. I wouldn’t let my kids eat off the floor, except that one time when I may or may not have forgot about cleaning the dishes and I just poured out some cereal onto the floor… I plead the fifth. 

Either way you look at it, our kids literally wipe boogers on things in their rooms, and they scratch their own butts and with the same hand pick up cheese burgers and take big ‘ol bites. If they even eat cheese burgers that your husband slaved over a grill to make because they were starving and now they don’t “like” cheese burgers and oh for heaven’s sake….

All I know is that there are soooo many other things to worry about than whether or not they will get a small piece of dirt in their mouth. My toddler will eat grass if I don’t pay attention. But won’t eat the Mac and cheese she begged for. Go figure. 

 I’m pretty sure they will live. Not to mention we will. One less thing they will whine about! Haha. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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