It happened. That dreadful evening when you are scrolling down through your Facebook feed and you see it. A post from a friend. A link to page. A story of a young life taken too soon. You jump to conclusions before you click. Thinking it was something common, an illness. Then you start reading. It’s so terrible and painful and unfathomable. But you can’t stop reading. You feel their pain. You have literal tears running down your face. You can’t breathe and you feel as though this person is your friend. You feel for them. You want to hug them. 

This is what happened tonight when I came across a link on a friend’s Facebook page. The link was about a young woman’s son who had died after being put to bed with a blanket. It was gut wrenching. I wanted to leave my house at midnight and go hug this woman. I wanted to tell her that she was such a strong woman to be able to share her story with the world. I wanted to take away her pain. Bring her baby back. Build a time machine. Anything to help this woman not have to say goodbye to her beautiful baby boy. 

My friend and I messaged back in forth for awhile after visiting her Facebook page and reading other posts and stories about this precious baby boy who passed much to young. It’s not fair. This mother, who tucked her small child into bed, only to wake to a nightmare she won’t be able to get away from. There are no words. 

We as moms, we protect our children. We feed them their vegetables, wash behind their ears, tuck them into bed. We do the important task of raising our beautiful babies into amazing adults. This woman won’t get to do that. 

I went and checked on my girls. I kissed their sleeping faces. I whispered into their ears that I loved them. I stood in the doorway and told myself “don’t go to that place”. And you can’t. 

When you read something like this online, a lot of people are quick to judge. Some people go as far as to speak out thoughts that they should have otherwise kept to themselves. Then some people with anxiety, like myself, and other parents…We panic. We start asking what if this happened to me? What should I do to protect them? How can I keep them safe?

The scary truth of the matter is, you can’t protect your children from everything. I mean sure you can make them a bubble and lock them in a room, but I’m positive some people at child services might have an issue. You can’t always stop pain and misery from coming into your life or the life of your child’s. I hope that no one ever has to go through what this woman and her husband will most definitely feel for the rest of their lives. But you can’t let yourself go there. You have to move forward. I don’t want too. I want to grieve with this mother who lost her baby. But I know that in the morning my day will begin and I will not take advantage. I will relish in every smile, every hug, every story. I will kiss every niece and every nephew. I will love with more of my heart. I will pray with more feeling. I will listen more. Every single day I will do what is necessary to make sure that I’ve done my best. Because at the end of the day that is all you can do. Don’t let yourself go there. The different types of unfathomable situations that your imagination can think up will haunt you. You would never sleep, eat or be able to enjoy life. I don’t think that’s what this mother would want. I don’t know her. She is a complete stranger. I don’t want to claim to know what she may or may not want. But I know her story will save other children. She is probably the strongest, most courageous woman I have ever seen. 

Rest in peace little one. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

The link to the story that I read on Facebook can be found here. But I must warn you that it is a detailed account of events that lead up to the death of a mother’s small child. As a mother I will not have any bashing comments about these parents. The circumstances surrounding this child’s death we’re something millions of parents do everyday. I put my own children to bed with a blanket every night from the moment they came home from the hospital. That being said, the Facebook account associated with this story has very tragically detailed posts on it. Please read at your own risk. My thoughts and prayers are with the family at this time.

photo credit: marknenadov <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/34157166@N08/34933313753″>Meadowhawk dragonfly (genus Sympetrum</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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