Technology Sucks

When I was a kid I didn’t have a tablet. No lap tops, no game consoles that accessed the world wide web. I had a box in the living room that we could play mine sweep or solitaire on but it took twenty minutes or so to boot up. I spent most of my summer vacations playing make believe in the woods, riding my bike and getting cuts and bruises. Swimming in the pool and trying very badly to skateboard down the street. We didn’t have videos showing us about new toys. We didn’t have Snapchat and other such apps on our smart phones. Heck I didn’t even have a cell phone until I was almost 20.

This week I’ve been re-evaluating my kiddos screen time. I have heard so many crazy things about children now-a-days on their tablets and lap tops and such, watching things they shouldn’t. Talking to people they don’t know, sending pictures of an obsene nature to friends and girlfriend’s and boyfriend’s. Being bullies and starting rumors, sharing private things that should never leave their lips. My six year old is very fluent in the “smart” technology portion of our household. It terrifies me. Absolutely terrifies me.

She can almost use my phone better than I can. But where do I draw the line? Do I give her the room to make a mistake or do I limit her time? Do I take them all away? I don’t know. But what I do know is that education is key. For parents and adults.

First thing, know what your kids are doing. Know what they are watching. Don’t be afraid to ask them, be nosy. My kiddos aren’t allowed to be in another room with their tablet and have the door closed. I have a specific email that I have signed into every single internet capable device in the house. I’ve linked it to my cell phone so that I can see exactly what videos on YouTube she watches and exactly what activity she helps herself too.

I limit the time that she plays. I try to encourage her to play outside. Have sleepovers, color, play make believe. Of course now that she has had screen time it’s hard to pull her back from that. She wants to watch little kids on a video play make believe with their babies instead of actually playing herself.

But, none of that saved me from catching her watching inappropriate videos. She still tried and she still saw things she shouldn’t have. I took her tablet away, she was grounded for a month. We haven’t had any repeats of this behavior but the tablet has taking over her childhood play.

She won’t ride her bike, she won’t play outside, she would rather be in her tablet in her room.

I’ve heard stories from friends about their kids talking to strangers on social media, my own teenager daughter was recently involved in a “picture swap” if you will. I’ve heard of a 10 year old who was watching porn. Kids who are meeting up with grown adults they have never met, and being taken from their families. Some of them never to be seen again.

I think this house will be taking a break from the technology for awhile. Time to go plant flowers, have a picnic and take a walk. I want to protect my children. More than anything. I know that I can’t protect them from everything. But I’m sure as hell going try.

Hugs! – Mama Kuddo aka Kristy

photo credit: wuestenigel Tablet and Pen via photopin (license)

photo credit: Wayan Vota The modern toddler iPad experience via photopin (license)

Noises, Bugs and Nightmares

It’s 4am. I’m awake for the 4th night in a row because my almost 7 year old is all of a sudden terrified of literally everything. 

She won’t sleep all night. She won’t sleep without a light (and we talking something bright enough to see from space). She won’t play outside for fear of blood sucking bugs, even though she has known about mosquitoes now for awhile. It’s insane. Every little thing terrifies her. She is scared of the toad that creeps onto the porch at night. She is afraid that it’s too dark. She worried about dragons, monsters and people breaking in. She worried that a cougar will eat her in the yard after dark. Won’t walk near the woods because who knows what’s hiding.

She hears noises at random times in the night and goes into panic mode. She will wake up crying and run into our bedroom and after an hour or so of convincing her that there is no such thing as the big bad wolf with overalls, she finally goes back to sleep. 

Unfortunately, these interrupted nights of sleep are making it worse. She’s so tired when she gets up in the night. She ends up being very cranky by lunch and then it’s a struggle to get through the day. I’ve had to curb what she watches, what video games she plays, where she goes and who she hangs out with. 

My daughter has always kind of had a soft heart and been a little on the sensitive side, but I need my 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. She needs her 10 hours of sleep. Her Daddy needs his sleep and so does her sister.

So what is a Mom to do?  Do I wrap her in bubble wrap? Teach her to use a sword to scare away imaginary beings? Should I get Daddy to post up in her bedroom at night with a shotgun? No. No I shouldn’t. 

I can’t baby her. I’m just not that kind of Mom. It’s not fair, but at 4am after tucking her back in and arguing with her repeatedly about whether or not she heard something, I’m running out of patience. I try to be understanding, and loving but sometimes her outbursts are so dramatic that it wakes up everyone in the house. Once the toddler is awake and her Dad is up, she magically isn’t scared anymore and goes back to bed. It’s almost too perfect.

I understand that my little bundle of joy is going through a phase. It’s an exhausting, ridiculous mess of a phase… But a phase non-the-less. The only thing I can do is hug her, wipe her eyes and reassure her that I will protect her from all of the things she is scared of. Except spiders… That’s totally up to her Dad.

Finally after many weeks now of fighting off imaginary monsters, I made her clean all the stuff in her room. We dumped out toy boxes, moved curtains, cleaned the closet. Looking ever so intently for “scary things”. We searched for spiders, found one and smashed that sucker. We searched for other bugs, nothing. Searched for monsters, nothing (except the creepy baby doll she had in the bottom of her toy box.. but I suppose only I was fearful of it). We even pulled and pushed on her window to show her how hard it was to open. Explained to her that unless she got up in the middle of the night and let the scary things in on her own, that there was no way something was getting in. 

So after not finding a single thing, my daughter suddenly and almost magically realized that there was nothing that can harm her in her bedroom. No dragons or rabid racoons. No big bad wolf or slithering snakes. She went to bed last night with minimal complaint. She only woke in the night twice and when told to go back to bed didn’t even make a sound. 

Hopefully we are on the way to a peaceful night’s sleep around here. This Mama is running on fumes!

Hugs! -Kristy aka Mama Kuddo

photo credit: Alyssa L. Miller <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/34701044@N06/3250804881″>The Safety of Fear</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

#RIPSloan

It happened. That dreadful evening when you are scrolling down through your Facebook feed and you see it. A post from a friend. A link to page. A story of a young life taken too soon. You jump to conclusions before you click. Thinking it was something common, an illness. Then you start reading. It’s so terrible and painful and unfathomable. But you can’t stop reading. You feel their pain. You have literal tears running down your face. You can’t breathe and you feel as though this person is your friend. You feel for them. You want to hug them. 

This is what happened tonight when I came across a link on a friend’s Facebook page. The link was about a young woman’s son who had died after being put to bed with a blanket. It was gut wrenching. I wanted to leave my house at midnight and go hug this woman. I wanted to tell her that she was such a strong woman to be able to share her story with the world. I wanted to take away her pain. Bring her baby back. Build a time machine. Anything to help this woman not have to say goodbye to her beautiful baby boy. 

My friend and I messaged back in forth for awhile after visiting her Facebook page and reading other posts and stories about this precious baby boy who passed much to young. It’s not fair. This mother, who tucked her small child into bed, only to wake to a nightmare she won’t be able to get away from. There are no words. 

We as moms, we protect our children. We feed them their vegetables, wash behind their ears, tuck them into bed. We do the important task of raising our beautiful babies into amazing adults. This woman won’t get to do that. 

I went and checked on my girls. I kissed their sleeping faces. I whispered into their ears that I loved them. I stood in the doorway and told myself “don’t go to that place”. And you can’t. 

When you read something like this online, a lot of people are quick to judge. Some people go as far as to speak out thoughts that they should have otherwise kept to themselves. Then some people with anxiety, like myself, and other parents…We panic. We start asking what if this happened to me? What should I do to protect them? How can I keep them safe?

The scary truth of the matter is, you can’t protect your children from everything. I mean sure you can make them a bubble and lock them in a room, but I’m positive some people at child services might have an issue. You can’t always stop pain and misery from coming into your life or the life of your child’s. I hope that no one ever has to go through what this woman and her husband will most definitely feel for the rest of their lives. But you can’t let yourself go there. You have to move forward. I don’t want too. I want to grieve with this mother who lost her baby. But I know that in the morning my day will begin and I will not take advantage. I will relish in every smile, every hug, every story. I will kiss every niece and every nephew. I will love with more of my heart. I will pray with more feeling. I will listen more. Every single day I will do what is necessary to make sure that I’ve done my best. Because at the end of the day that is all you can do. Don’t let yourself go there. The different types of unfathomable situations that your imagination can think up will haunt you. You would never sleep, eat or be able to enjoy life. I don’t think that’s what this mother would want. I don’t know her. She is a complete stranger. I don’t want to claim to know what she may or may not want. But I know her story will save other children. She is probably the strongest, most courageous woman I have ever seen. 

Rest in peace little one. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

The link to the story that I read on Facebook can be found here. But I must warn you that it is a detailed account of events that lead up to the death of a mother’s small child. As a mother I will not have any bashing comments about these parents. The circumstances surrounding this child’s death we’re something millions of parents do everyday. I put my own children to bed with a blanket every night from the moment they came home from the hospital. That being said, the Facebook account associated with this story has very tragically detailed posts on it. Please read at your own risk. My thoughts and prayers are with the family at this time.

photo credit: marknenadov <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/34157166@N08/34933313753″>Meadowhawk dragonfly (genus Sympetrum</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

When Back Pain is a Pain in the butt

So I found out recently that I have a pinched nerve due to a herniated disc at my L4-L5 vertebrae. It’s painful. It’s getting in the way of day to day activities. Laundry, dishes, changing diapers even. I’ve been struggling to drive and to get around the house. It’s been going on now for about 2 months. My husband has been a blessing and so have my friends. They have been extremely helpful with my day to day mom stuff.

But I’m spiraling. I’ve been stuck in this house for almost three weeks now. I’ve missed out on family coming to town, my weekly grocery store getaways and taking my kiddos places that are fun. I cant take the kiddos to  the pool, or school shopping. I’ve made up for those with arts and crafts, but I am so bored! I have cabin fever so bad..  I need adult conversation. Terribly.

I’m hoping that I can avoid surgery on my back. I got an epidural steriod injection in my back on Wednesday and I have my fingers crossed that it will fix it. But my doctor is saying surgery. Which is something I really don’t want to do. Mostly because of the burden it will put on my family. Having to find a sitter and someone to help with the day to day. The steriod has had a terrible effect on my hormones as well. So I’m basically a ball of crying chaos fun from sun up to sun down. 

I called my best friend this morning and had a meltdown about haircuts. Yep, haircuts. Ridiculous I know. But my brain is in panic mode and I’m struggling to keep it in check. 

I don’t want to ask anyone for help anymore. I want to be able to do it myself. I want to be able to do my job as a mother and wife. It’s not fair for me to ask other people to do my job. It makes me feel terrible. It has brought feelings of hopelessness in my life. Which as a mom with anxiety and a constant depression battle, that couldn’t be worse.

My back hurting has also been the reason I haven’t wrote a blog post in awhile. Which also bums me out. I really like sharing my quirky little mom life with you! 

Hopefully this will be the start of a bunch of posts again! Hopefully I will be able to pull myself out of this funk and move forward. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

Little Things Husbands Do That Drive Us Nuts

As mom’s and wives we have a certain level of tolerance when it comes to things that our family in the household do on a daily basis. 

We clean up everyone’s crap without batting an eyelash, and with little to no sleep. We cater to every tiny thing without so much as smudging our non-existent make-up. We stay up late and wake up early. We have been peed on, puked on and had food in our hair. We have been overwhelmed and down right EXHAUSTED. 

So for the love of donuts stop doing things to anger the momster. You know our pet peeves, most of them, so stop. Just stop it. 

Stop leaving your shoes in the middle of the living room floor. We cleaned that room forty times today. We will have to clean it forty more times before the kiddos go to bed. We are not going to be of any help at all, when we get up to comfort kiddos who have nightmares, and we fall over your crap and break a leg. So pick up your crap sir.

Stop leaving the cap off the toothpaste. I realize this is such a tiny thing, but nobody wants to brush their teeth with dried out mint. If that was the case we would grow a mint plant. So take two seconds and put the cap on. Do it. Did you forget? Go. Go now. 

Let’s talk about coffee spoons. It goes in the dang sink. Or even better, the dishwasher. You know that expensive piece of equipment that y’all buy us Moms to “help” us. The one nobody knows how to use but us? Also, stop dipping that spoon into the sugar. Stop it. You clump the sugar up. It’s annoying. 

Stop leaving the toilet seat up. We don’t want our tired butts hitting freezing cold water at 3am. The baby is awake for the third night in a row and I get it you don’t hear them like we do. It’s amazing what kind of super sonic hearing moms have. But, when we get up to pee before we tackle another hour long adventure with our bundle of joy, it would be nice not to fall in the toilet. Stop it. Seriously.

Stop leaving your hair in the sink. Look we get it. Men want to do the minimum amount of cleaning possible. After you’ve been with someone awhile there are just certain things we figure out about you guys. But how would you like it if we shaved our legs and umm, other areas, over the sink you brush your teeth in? I realize it’s just facial hair boys… but when you lean down to brush your teeth and your staring at tiny little hairs… well, clean that crap up. 

Change the stinking toilet paper roll! If you finish using the toilet paper, throw on another one. Chances are we have lived in the same house together long enough for you to know where we keep the new rolls. So don’t take the new roll out of the cabinet, use it and then set it on the sink. It goes on the holder. Thank you. 

Stop leaving your laundry on the floor, NEXT to the hamper. We pick up things off the floor from sun up to sun down. We don’t want to pick up after you too. Not really. So if you can’t take that extra step towards adulthood and helpfulness (I say that with the most pleasant voice ever) and pick up your stinking clothes and put them in the basket RIGHT in front of you, so help me…

The things we go through everyday to make sure the household runs smoothly are interrupted momentarily by the little things that you wouldn’t think twice about. I can’t tell you enough how many times a week I sigh from these little pesky things. I’m sure you dads have pet peeves too. Our hair on the shower stall, all of our crap on the sink, along with countless others. But we clean up the house everyday. WE do. Help us out man.

-Kuddos and Kiddos



photo credit: feetsgood <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/35808394@N02/16666081845″>Ludovic business shoes</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;
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I Let My Kids Eat Things That Fall In The Floor


Ok so my kid is famous for eating things that have fallen in the floor. Shocking. I consider myself a clean mom. I don’t like germs and I want everything to at least be “lived in” around my house. But, let’s be honest here…my floor isn’t sparkling clean and there are some things I totally let my kids eat after it’s hit the floor. 

1. Chips.  Look I have dogs. Most of the time my dog will get that stinking chip before it ever gets picked up by my toddler, but if it doesn’t, I’m not dealing with the stage 4 meltdown that will ensue if I take that chip out of her hand. No way am I doing that. 

2. Cookies. Have you ever tried to give your toddler a cookie at a table? I have. She ends up dropping it on the floor. Every single freaking time. So, I’m not wasting cookies, especially since that means I’d have to break out my secret stash. Do you want to do that? No. So just blow it off and hand it back. 

3. French fries. So everybody knows​ if you leave fast food fries in your back seat for three years, they look EXACTLY the same. So why am I going to snatch it from my toddlers hands when she picks it up off the floor? I’m not. She can eat it. Five second rule after all. 

4. Pop Tarts. So I’m that mom. I’m not cooking a buffet for breakfast. My kids are picky, so sometimes I hand them pop tarts to save my sanity. So when my toddler is super excited and goes running across the living room floor with a pop tart in hand, only to fall down and drop it, she’s crying enough for the both of us. I’m not​ going to break her little heart by taking her food. Nope.

5. Pretty much anything that isn’t wet food. Seriously. If it’s not wet, the chances of dog hair or other unique tiny items, touching the food when my kid picks it back up is slim. So again, just so we’re clear, I’m not fighting my kiddo… She can definitely pick it up and stick right into her mouth.
There are so many different reasons​ to let or not let your kid eat things that have touched the floor. I’m not an animal… Or am I? … Obviously, I don’t want my kids to get sick​, or poisoned. As a mom though, I’m pretty positive that we fight enough battles without adding this small thing to the list. Of course I have standards. Again not an animal. 

I am picky about who’s floor it is they eat off of. For reasons I’m sure I don’t have to mention, Walmart’s floor is out. They can’t eat off the boat floor, they can’t eat things of the floor of my car either. I wouldn’t let them pick up a cookie in the parking lot, but I’m going to be sad it wasted. Can you tell I like cookies? 

There’s a few things I don’t let my kids eat off the floor without at least rinsing it off.  

1. Hard candy/ lollipops –  a little bit of water and BOOM, good as new. 

2. Ice Cream – There isn’t much you can do when an ice cream cone lands on the ground. Except wine. Wine fixes that.. well, for us anyways. My kid is going to be seriously mad though. I wouldn’t let her share an ice cream cone with the dog either. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to buy multiple ice cream cones. It’s insane.

3. Gum – That’s gonna be a hell no. My toddler doesn’t chew gum, but my six year old does. There’s no way she’s chewing it after it has hit the ground. No stinking way. 

Some people will agree with these lists​. Some people will be shocked that I even suggested that my kids eat things​ that fall in the floor.  Which is what I said, not “my kids eat off the floor”. I wouldn’t let my kids eat off the floor, except that one time when I may or may not have forgot about cleaning the dishes and I just poured out some cereal onto the floor… I plead the fifth. 

Either way you look at it, our kids literally wipe boogers on things in their rooms, and they scratch their own butts and with the same hand pick up cheese burgers and take big ‘ol bites. If they even eat cheese burgers that your husband slaved over a grill to make because they were starving and now they don’t “like” cheese burgers and oh for heaven’s sake….

All I know is that there are soooo many other things to worry about than whether or not they will get a small piece of dirt in their mouth. My toddler will eat grass if I don’t pay attention. But won’t eat the Mac and cheese she begged for. Go figure. 

 I’m pretty sure they will live. Not to mention we will. One less thing they will whine about! Haha. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

photo credit: EricaJoy <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/80775449@N00/5342412736″>M&M’s</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;
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Depression Tries But Doesn’t Conquer

Having children, is the greatest adventure I’ve ever been on. It’s hard work and it’s not always sun shiny, but it is the greatest most amazing thing I’ve ever been through. 

Despite that, some days I struggle. I struggle to get out of bed. I struggle to make breakfast and put my kiddo on the bus. Sometimes I want to go back to bed and wake up tomorrow. 

Depression has a hold of me. It’s an everyday battle. I don’t always have a bad day. Sometimes there is literally nothing going on that makes me feel this way. It just happens. It consumes me. It makes my brain go from “bad ass mom”, to “I don’t think I can do this”. It’s hard. 

I call everyone in my phone those days. Most of the time two or three will answer and we will have that ten minute conversation until I’m rambling about nothing. Then it’s on to their everyday lives. What they don’t know, is that sometimes it’s a literal cry for help. 

I need something to take my mind off the irrational fears and thoughts that make me spiral. I can’t depend on everyone to know what’s going on. So I pretend to talk about things that don’t really matter to stay straight. 

Being a parent is hard. Being a wife is hard. Hell, being a person in 2017 is hard. Sometimes I forget that. I think, there is something wrong with me. He to be right? No. I’m just a little different. Different is ok. Pull yourself up from the darkness and move forward. As long as I don’t let what’s different, become the thing that defines me. It won’t. I refuse to let it. 

I’m a good mom. I’m an ok-ish cook. I can sing. I’m a brilliant crafter. I give good advice. I am an excellent drinking buddy. I am more than darkness. 

 Stay positive. This is one bad day, not a bad life. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos 
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“Mom” Clothes


So the other day I took my kids to a clothing store so I could buy some summer clothes. Let’s face it, as much as we moms try to stay wearing one size from year to year, it doesn’t usually pan out. This year I decided that I needed to take my kiddos with me on this little adventure. It was an impulse decision, that I later learned was a terrible one. Have you actually tried on clothes in a changing room with a six year old and a two year old? If you have, then I feel you girl!

So, I hate clothes shopping. I will​ buy all the clothes in the world for my kiddos and my husband, but if I have to go clothes shopping for me, I’d rather take a nap. After almost two years going by since the birth of my youngest, I realized that I didn’t have a single pair of shorts. So off to the store I went. 

I had an idea of what I wanted to buy. I also had an idea on my kiddos behavior. I figured that my 6 yr old would touch everything and my 2 yr old would run off. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into. 

So I start looking for shorts in the size jeans I wear. Well turns out that not all store sizes are the same, so I ended up wearing a size that was 4 times bigger than my jeans size. Gasp! I also tried to find a pair of shorts that I would be comfortable in. Turns out that’s hard to do. Being a mom of 4, I’m a little self conscious about my body these days. I’m 33, I’m getting older. Things don’t really stay in place like they should if you know what I mean. 

After shopping for about an hour I left with two pairs and most of my sanity intact. But, I realized something. 

When I was a little younger, I used to say things like ” I’ll never wear mom jeans” blah blah blah. Yea well now I know why moms wear “mom” Jeans. It hides the belly fat from having kids. It’s more comfy wearing pants that are fitting rather than wearing jeans a size smaller so your butt looks good. Yes that is a thing when you’re young. 

I also now know why moms wear yoga pants. Man do I LOVE my yoga pants. Moms love them because we are too freaking tired. I can’t speak for every mom, but if you come to my house in the morning there’s a good chance that I’m wearing the yoga pants that I wore to bed. Heck, I may even have them on at dinner if I’m feeling adventurous.

I know why moms wear leggings, instead of jeans. Because we chase tiny humans all day and unless you buy “mom” jeans, they are restricting and uncomfortable. I want to be able to super clean my house and have full range of motion. Even if I am getting old and everything hurts. I also want range of motion for when I tell my husband I have a headache. Getting comfortable enough to fall asleep with a fake headache is hard to do. 

So it looks like I’m in the “mom” clothes category. And I’m totally ok with that. Especially since I’ll probably never take two kids shopping for clothes again until they are teenagers. 

Hugs! -Kuddos and Kiddos
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Sit Down and Shut It Up: Parents Who Talk Bad About Parents. 

I don’t understand what the problem is. If our kiddos are clean, fed, and cared for that’s what matters right? So why do we keep putting other parents down for things? Why do we take it upon ourselves to be total judge mental tards? Yup that’s what I said, tards. Better than what I was thinking. 
I’m so tired of hearing about what this parent or that parent did or didn’t do. Most of the time, it’s from someone who IS a parent. Now I know darn well that you have been through tough parenting moments. Hence the word ‘parent’.

I know that you have been up every hour on the hour, comforting a sick child. I know that you have had a toddler who will only eat the jelly off their bread, instead of the whole dang sandwich like a normal person. Or have a child ask for a banana only to throw it in the floor. Or eat two bites of their food and ask for a snack. This list of food examples could get intense. I’ll end it here…

I know that you, a parent, of children, have had to physically hold down your child to get boogers out of their nose. You have turned your head for five seconds and your child has wrote on the wall… In their own poo. If that’s something that has only happened to me I’m disappointed. Seriously. 

I know that you have fought your kiddos for an hour to get them to go to bed at night. Listened to their whiney cries when they don’t get a nap. Fought with them over a candy bar at the grocery store. Let go of their hand in the parking lot to get your keys out of your purse, only to have a heart attack when they almost get hit by a car. Let go of your child at the zoo and freaked the hell out because he disappeared around the corner while you were looking at the penguins with the other kids. Come on those little buggers are adorable..

I know that you have put Band-Aids on imaginary boo boos.  Played tea party with a child who won’t let you look at her stuffed bear. I know that you have screamed at your child for nothing except that whatever you told them to do, they didn’t do, and probably didn’t need to be yelled at like that but OMG JUST LISTEN. I know that you have ate all the rest of the candy so the kids couldn’t. Guilty as charged. 

I know that you have tried teaching them how to use the potty, only to fail. Currently going on at my house. I know that you have dropped an entire gallon of milk on the floor, had to get in your vehicle and go to the store, at midnight, all while your child screams bloody murder in the back seat because they want milk. (True story)

I know that you have cleaned, repeatedly. Everyday. For hours. I know that the laundry is never done. The dishes are always dirty and the house is always messy. I know that you are EXHAUSTED. So why in the hell do I always hear things about “bad moms” or “terrible dads” from people who are parents?

If you SHOW UP day in and day out. If you try your very best to do every single thing in your power to ensure the healthy, positive growth of your children, even when you might make a mistake… Then shut the hell up. Yup. Shut it up. 

You have no right to judge another parent. 

1. Not your business. 

2. Not your business. 

3. You are literally going through or have gone through the same things that they are. 

4. Not your business. 

And if you DON’T show up. If you don’t TRY. If you aren’t there. Then you don’t have the right to judge a parent who does. So shut up. Sit down. Step aside. 

Because parents, real ones, we know what the day to day is about. We show up. We put our big, grown up britches on and we laugh at the mistakes and we learn from them. So stop putting all the other parents down. You have no idea what they might be going through. Or what toddler, pre-teen or teenager they have to hide from. 

If parenting was easy there would be a book. Being a parent, I know there isn’t a step by step guide book. Trust me I checked. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

Don’t Lose your Identity in Parenting

I have spent most of my adult life taking care of tiny humans. Feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up random messes all over the place. I have worked myself to exhaustion. I have survived little to no sleep. I have screwed up all kinds of stuff. I’m almost always running late. From sun up, to sun down, I’m constantly cleaning. Always doing something for someone else. 

Just because we are parents doesn’t mean we should forget who we are as people. Quite often we lose our identity. We sacrifice so much for the people around us. 

In the fuss of being a parent, I sometimes forget to take care​ of myself. I’ve been slowly letting bits and pieces of myself go in order to take care of my tiny kiddos. It’s a problem a lot of parents face and it needs to stop. 

In order to be the best parents we can be to our kiddos we need to embrace ourselves more. Stop letting go of the very things that make us who we are. How can we nurture our children to be their own individual people, if we are not doing those things too?

Sometimes we get lost in the parenting. I feel myself become a bitter, angry person when I’m overwhelmed by the day to day mom life. I am constantly taking care of other people. Doing things for other people. I shop for other people, make food for other people, think for other people even. I clean up after other people. Not just my kids, but also my husband. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I don’t want to do those things. Maybe I just want to do something else once in awhile. 

I love to sing. It’s a passion. There’s nothing better for a stress reliever than belting out a few songs at karaoke. But, once I became a mom, it became less and less. I also love to sew, but I don’t ever seem to have the time. I’m more concerned about getting the dishes done and the laundry washed. I literally have no time to do any of the things that make me, me. Hell, sometimes I’m lucky to get a shower. 

Problem isn’t that I can’t do it, it’s the guilt when I do. Why do I feel guilty? I shouldn’t. My kids are healthy and taken care of. My husband gets no less of a woman if I do something for myself once in awhile. I shouldn’t sacrifice my passions to be a parent. No one should. It’s a part of who you are. 

You need to take that long hot bath. Go out with the girls and have some fun. Go fishing with the guys. Go see a movie.  Sit on the front porch and soak in the beautiful evening sky. Don’t be afraid to take that five extra minutes for yourself. Your​ children will be fine. When they see that passion in your eyes, they will love you more for it. Don’t let your identity as a person be that your a “parent”. You are so much more than that. 

So don’t forget to be yourself. Make time for yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do for your child. 

Hugs! – Mama Kuddo

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