Sit Down and Shut It Up: Parents Who Talk Bad About Parents. 

I don’t understand what the problem is. If our kiddos are clean, fed, and cared for that’s what matters right? So why do we keep putting other parents down for things? Why do we take it upon ourselves to be total judge mental tards? Yup that’s what I said, tards. Better than what I was thinking. 
I’m so tired of hearing about what this parent or that parent did or didn’t do. Most of the time, it’s from someone who IS a parent. Now I know darn well that you have been through tough parenting moments. Hence the word ‘parent’.

I know that you have been up every hour on the hour, comforting a sick child. I know that you have had a toddler who will only eat the jelly off their bread, instead of the whole dang sandwich like a normal person. Or have a child ask for a banana only to throw it in the floor. Or eat two bites of their food and ask for a snack. This list of food examples could get intense. I’ll end it here…

I know that you, a parent, of children, have had to physically hold down your child to get boogers out of their nose. You have turned your head for five seconds and your child has wrote on the wall… In their own poo. If that’s something that has only happened to me I’m disappointed. Seriously. 

I know that you have fought your kiddos for an hour to get them to go to bed at night. Listened to their whiney cries when they don’t get a nap. Fought with them over a candy bar at the grocery store. Let go of their hand in the parking lot to get your keys out of your purse, only to have a heart attack when they almost get hit by a car. Let go of your child at the zoo and freaked the hell out because he disappeared around the corner while you were looking at the penguins with the other kids. Come on those little buggers are adorable..

I know that you have put Band-Aids on imaginary boo boos.  Played tea party with a child who won’t let you look at her stuffed bear. I know that you have screamed at your child for nothing except that whatever you told them to do, they didn’t do, and probably didn’t need to be yelled at like that but OMG JUST LISTEN. I know that you have ate all the rest of the candy so the kids couldn’t. Guilty as charged. 

I know that you have tried teaching them how to use the potty, only to fail. Currently going on at my house. I know that you have dropped an entire gallon of milk on the floor, had to get in your vehicle and go to the store, at midnight, all while your child screams bloody murder in the back seat because they want milk. (True story)

I know that you have cleaned, repeatedly. Everyday. For hours. I know that the laundry is never done. The dishes are always dirty and the house is always messy. I know that you are EXHAUSTED. So why in the hell do I always hear things about “bad moms” or “terrible dads” from people who are parents?

If you SHOW UP day in and day out. If you try your very best to do every single thing in your power to ensure the healthy, positive growth of your children, even when you might make a mistake… Then shut the hell up. Yup. Shut it up. 

You have no right to judge another parent. 

1. Not your business. 

2. Not your business. 

3. You are literally going through or have gone through the same things that they are. 

4. Not your business. 

And if you DON’T show up. If you don’t TRY. If you aren’t there. Then you don’t have the right to judge a parent who does. So shut up. Sit down. Step aside. 

Because parents, real ones, we know what the day to day is about. We show up. We put our big, grown up britches on and we laugh at the mistakes and we learn from them. So stop putting all the other parents down. You have no idea what they might be going through. Or what toddler, pre-teen or teenager they have to hide from. 

If parenting was easy there would be a book. Being a parent, I know there isn’t a step by step guide book. Trust me I checked. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

Don’t Lose your Identity in Parenting

I have spent most of my adult life taking care of tiny humans. Feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up random messes all over the place. I have worked myself to exhaustion. I have survived little to no sleep. I have screwed up all kinds of stuff. I’m almost always running late. From sun up, to sun down, I’m constantly cleaning. Always doing something for someone else. 

Just because we are parents doesn’t mean we should forget who we are as people. Quite often we lose our identity. We sacrifice so much for the people around us. 

In the fuss of being a parent, I sometimes forget to take care​ of myself. I’ve been slowly letting bits and pieces of myself go in order to take care of my tiny kiddos. It’s a problem a lot of parents face and it needs to stop. 

In order to be the best parents we can be to our kiddos we need to embrace ourselves more. Stop letting go of the very things that make us who we are. How can we nurture our children to be their own individual people, if we are not doing those things too?

Sometimes we get lost in the parenting. I feel myself become a bitter, angry person when I’m overwhelmed by the day to day mom life. I am constantly taking care of other people. Doing things for other people. I shop for other people, make food for other people, think for other people even. I clean up after other people. Not just my kids, but also my husband. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I don’t want to do those things. Maybe I just want to do something else once in awhile. 

I love to sing. It’s a passion. There’s nothing better for a stress reliever than belting out a few songs at karaoke. But, once I became a mom, it became less and less. I also love to sew, but I don’t ever seem to have the time. I’m more concerned about getting the dishes done and the laundry washed. I literally have no time to do any of the things that make me, me. Hell, sometimes I’m lucky to get a shower. 

Problem isn’t that I can’t do it, it’s the guilt when I do. Why do I feel guilty? I shouldn’t. My kids are healthy and taken care of. My husband gets no less of a woman if I do something for myself once in awhile. I shouldn’t sacrifice my passions to be a parent. No one should. It’s a part of who you are. 

You need to take that long hot bath. Go out with the girls and have some fun. Go fishing with the guys. Go see a movie.  Sit on the front porch and soak in the beautiful evening sky. Don’t be afraid to take that five extra minutes for yourself. Your​ children will be fine. When they see that passion in your eyes, they will love you more for it. Don’t let your identity as a person be that your a “parent”. You are so much more than that. 

So don’t forget to be yourself. Make time for yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do for your child. 

Hugs! – Mama Kuddo

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The Beauty of Online Shopping when you’re a Mom

 Ok so, I love online shopping. Its a mom’s best friend. It’s probably my favorite way to shop for stuff, other than groceries. I’m not even sure what I did before online shopping. I mean, what the heck did my mom do? Did she seriously cart all five of us to the store for new curtains? Yes. She did. Insane, that woman. 

I love browsing clearance sales. I love that I can buy new sheets, or new dishes or my kids birthday presents from the couch. I also like that I can put all kinds of things in an online shopping cart and not buy a single thing if I want. Let’s just be honest here. I do that a lot.

I don’t really like going to places. I used to go everywhere. Then I had kids and I came up with every excuse to not have to. Its easier. I can cook dinner and shop. I can lay in bed at night and shop. I can drink wine and shop. Can you drink wine in the middle of a store with your kids and look for a new tablecloth? No. No you cant. If you can, I’m going to need you to tell me what store that is and what they sell. I have a TON of mom friends who will want to go there. 

I don’t want to stand in line and I don’t like people. I love MY people just not all people. You know what I’m talking about. There is no search button to find what I’m looking for. Sure, you can ask for help, IF you can even find someone. I don’t want to chase my kiddos around the store. I don’t want to fight with my kiddos about touching things. I don’t want to take those little buggers to a store where they sell glass, because oh my God no.

What I do love, is that nobody gets in my way. I’m not tripping over things. I don’t have to go all the way around an isle because people are taking up the whole thing. I don’t have to stop and put gas in my car, or drive all the way back when I forget something. 

There’s also the perks of getting it delivered. There is no loading children in car seats. I don’t have to stand in 20° weather and load up the truck. I don’t even have to worry about stuff falling off the cart in the middle of the parking lot, in the rain. Just click, click click, done. Over it. It’s on its way. 

How we ever got through motherhood without the internet, I’ll never know. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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Things Moms can do, but really can’t.

I’ve mentioned before that being a mom is hard work. It is. It’s all amazing and horrible at the same time. There’s so many things that we can do, but really can’t do. If your thinking about having kids of your own, you should know that all of things I’m about to mention are a no go when you become a parent. 
For starters. Cookies. We can eat cookies anytime we want. Or can we? No. We can’t. We can, but we can’t. See if I want to eat cookies for breakfast, I’m a grown ass woman. I can totally dunk Oreos in milk at 8 am. But I can’t because my kiddos will want Oreos for breakfast too and then I’ll be a terrible person for telling them no. (The trick here is oatmeal cookies. That way if you have to indulge, at least you can say they are sort of, kind of, not really healthy.) 

Then there’s not wearing a jacket. If it’s “chilly” outside, I don’t have to be a wuss and wear a coat. I can suck it up and go about my day. But my kids can’t. So do I want to argue with them because I’m not wearing one and they have to? Nope. So guess what princess? You’re wearing a coat. 

How about leaving your crap everywhere? I get home and I want to set my stuff on the table inside the door. Can I leave my shoes in the middle of the living room? Sure. But no. Because then when I am nagging my kids to pick up their crap, it will only be because they are following my lead. Sucks doesn’t it?

Suppose your sick. I mean really sick. Too bad cupcake. Your mom. There’s no sick days here. Have you tried changing a dirty diaper when you have the urge to vomit every 20 minutes? Yuck. If you’re blessed enough to have a man who steps up and gives you that sick day that you desperately need, tie him up and put him in the closet and never let him leave. He’s a keeper. 

Oh, and those nice clothes you bought? Forget them looking nice for long. Everytime you pick up your tiny kiddo you become a talking, breathing towel. We are talking everything from snot to cupcake icing. So that $30 top you bought to wear to Easter dinner… Well you should have got the $10 one because you will probably never wear it again. 

Long, hot showers. Remember those? I remember being able to stand in the shower for 30 minutes if I wanted too. Now I have tiny human hands under the door waiting for me. Better master shaving those legs really fast without cutting yourself ladies…

Plans. What are those? You can’t make plans.. You got invited to girls night? Well Dad is sick and the babysitter cancelled. You have a birthday party to go to? Well tiny human number one has a fever… It happens almost everytime! Then when you do get a chance to get out, you will get some kind of phone call about them and will have to head back early. #momlife I think they call it.

Grocery shopping becomes a nightmare. If you take your kids to the grocery store you will end up buying a minimum of 3 extra items at least. There will be some kind of meltdown in aisle #4 and checking out will be a fight to see how many candy bars you can “say” you will buy and how many you actually get back on the shelf before they notice. It’s a good time. I’m lying. 

Then there’s staying up late. You can. You’re an adult. But, you’re going to be freaking tired when your kids get up at 6am demanding breakfast though. Or the 4am nightmare, the 2am feeding, the rolling out of the bed 10 minutes before your alarm. I’m sure you get it. 

There’s so many things we moms do for our kiddos. I love my kids. I love doing every single thing I do everyday​. But nobody tells you about the little stuff you will miss once you become a mother. Some moms are built tough for these kinds of things. I deal, but it doesn’t mean I like it. So before you have kids, make sure these are things your willing to deal with. Also you should understand that there’s about a million other “small things” that you “can do” but can’t. Not really. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

***I had a little help with this post. I got real life ideas from some of my awesome mom friends. You know who you are! Thank you! 

Don’t Leave Before you Clean!

So as parents we are supposed to teach our kiddos how to be decent human beings. We start young with how not to color on tables and walls. Then we graduate to things like don’t chew with your mouth open, and clean up your mess. 
One thing I’ve seen that drives me nuts is when my kiddos go to someone’s house and makes a mess. Being a mom of tiny humans has given me a certain level of knowledge in the cleaning up messes department. And it’s not my fav. I also can’t even deal with other kids in my house making messes, IF their parents leave without making them clean it up. 

Let me elaborate. 

1. This is my family’s home. The location of my happiness, my bubble, my mess. MINE. Not yours. MINE. So.. when I spend all day cleaning up after my own kiddos and their room is all shiny and clean, I’m not at all interested in cleaning up all the toys left behind from your kiddos hanging out. I have enough messes to clean. That means, that if the toy box wasn’t upside down and the toys weren’t spilled out all over when you got here… Then it’s good mom etiquette to make sure it isn’t when you leave. 

2. My kids will HAVE to clean up messes at your house. Period. They destroy it, they clean it. It’s all about respecting someone else’s property. Not to mention as I have before, I know what it’s like to clean all day. Everyday. I’m pretty sure that I will be cleaning for all of eternity.  Also sure I didn’t sign up for that on paper anywhere… Unless they gave me paperwork during labor I didn’t read, in which case read your stuff ladies. Ha. But seriously, I want my kids to respect other people’s property. I want them to go to other people’s houses as a grown up and help clean dishes after dinner. I want them to not break their friends stuff. I want them to just be decent human beings. 

3. It’s not fair.  Pretty sure if I came to your house and started throwing your stuff around the living room and then bounced you’d be pretty upset. The same goes for ours kiddos. My daughter takes 7 days and 7 nights to clean her room. I can’t ask her to clean a mess she had help making. Well I could but that’s not really fair… Or is it? No. No. See now I’m giving myself ideas. If I ask my daughter to clean her room after several children have been in there making a mess, it will lead to disaster. I will definitely end up yelling. So again. Not fair. 

4. I also understand that toddlers won’t clean up their mess. That’s where you come in. Being a mom means having to clean up their mess. Even if that means at my house. Same goes for me. Like I mentioned before it’s good mom etiquette. 

It’s all for a good cause I swear. I want my children to be responsible for their actions. I want them to grow into decent human beings. If this is only one step in the right direction… Then let’s start here. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Dean Terry <a href=”″>Cleaning Day?</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;

Mom Friends. 

I don’t know about y’all, but making friends with other moms is hard. What if they raise their kids different? What if I slip up and cuss in front of their kiddos? What if they think I’m a terrible person? 

Truth is. That sh*t don’t matter. Yes. That is right. It DOESN’T matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.  

I’m sitting at the ball field. My daughter is playing baseball.. not very well I might add.. but that’s​ ok. She’s six.  I am sitting in my truck. Now before you think the worst, I’m only sitting in my truck because it’s better than sitting on the nasty wet grass or the concrete slab the other moms are currently sitting on. BUT, if there were chairs… I’d still be in my truck. I can see my daughter and she can see me. So truck seat it is. 

This year I only know one mom. One. So that puts me in the awkward position to make small talk with other moms I don’t know. What do I talk about? Why do I say? Now, you would think that we have something to talk about because we have children who are on the same team. But no. My anxiety level sky-rockets into Galaxy mode when I’m around other moms. I have no idea why. I forget how to put words into sentences and I’m always afraid I’m going to sound like an idiot. So I like my safe zone in the truck.

Anxiety, well it sucks. I could be missing out on some pretty good friends. Hell, it took me one whole school year and half another one before I actually gave in and met my daughter’s best friend’s​ mom at the park. Then she turned out to be one of my best friends. 

Still, it’s not easy for moms to meet other moms. We have a hard time. But, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. I don’t always have the guts to say hi first. Then I realized that I may not be the only one who has a hard time. I mean, I can’t possibly be the only mom who has anxiety about meeting other people. Right?

It’s doesn’t matter what you think. Those moms have bad days too. Those moms have kids with temper tantrums, say cuss words ( maybe not at the frequency that I do), and have a hard time making mom friends too. So don’t worry about what you “think” they might say. Go say hello. Try to talk to someone. Now, I’m not saying everytime… because come on.. I’m sitting in my truck. But, who knows what friends are passing you by. 

And if it turns out that those moms really do care about how you raise your kids, the clothes you wear or the personality you present, move on. You can be civil without being hateful. It’s called being a grown up. And I hope my kids do the same when they are grown.

Hugs- Kuddos and Kiddos

photo credit: Jim Bauer <a href=”″>Just Around the Corner</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;

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I’m over the bad mom thing. Over it.

So do you remember that day last week when the dishes were piled up? That day when you spilt the drink on your laptop? That day when your kiddo said “mom” 3,789,456 times? The day when you felt like you failed as a mother because you screamed at your toddler for coloring on the wall? The day you thought would never end and how you just wished for bedtime? 

What about the day that you fought your kiddos to get in the car, dropped your coffee in the driveway all over your purse, and then drove to the store only to realize that your child took off their shoes before you left the house? What about the woman who sneered at you from her shopping cart in that how dare she make that baby walk around this place without shoes look?

What about the time you tried to get your child to leave the park and she threw herself in the sand box kicking and screaming? Then you had to drag her out like a football carrying all your crap in front of twenty other parents silently judging you?

As mom’s we are entitled to a bad day. What we are not entitled to, is making another mom feel terrible because she is having a bad day. Bad days happen. Sometimes they happen more often than not. And I’m sick of seeing other moms belittle another for their bad day mistakes. I can’t even begin to tell you the kinds of things that have happened to me on my bad days. Does it make me a terrible mother? No.  Does it make me less of a mother? No it doesn’t. 

For some reason though, in the eyes of other moms and sometimes dads, you don’t make the cut in the parenting world. 

This world is big enough for all kinds of parents. There’s no reason to belittle someone because of a bad day. You dont  know what kind of battles they are fighting. You have no idea if they were up all night because their child is sick. You have no idea what kind of messed up situation they are in. You don’t know how tired they are. Or how over it they might be.

All I know is that the next time I’m at the store and I see a mom struggling, my go to thought won’t be ” what a terrible mother”. And all too often we moms have a lot to say on the matter. Me included. Enough is enough. Close your mouth. Keep it to yourself. There should never be a reason that a great mom should feel like a bad one. There should never be a situation where a mom rethinks her role as a mother because of something a stranger did or said. 

There should also never be a situation where family or friends have something to say on the matter either. Do you have kids? No? Then close your mouth. You have no idea what parenting is like until you actually have kids and parent.

Instead of speaking your mind about something you don’t know about, start saying things you do know. Like You’re doing a great job mom”  and “Dont worry we have all had bad days” .

Be kind. Always be kind. This world will fall to pieces if we can’t lead by example for our children. Show them we are not just a bunch of cranky old woman with kids. Say something nice. Put a smile on their face. Make someone’s day. Don’t forget about dads either! Everyone is entitled to their bad day. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

Sickness Means More Cleaning

So the tiny kiddo is sick again. Pneumonia this time. She is absolutely miserable! After spending the day at the doctor, I have come home to a messy house and I am ready to tear it apart and kill germs. As a mom, I know where the obvious places are. Door knobs, light switches, bathrooms, I mean we moms know how to kill those germs.

What about the places you don’t think about though? The places that they hide stuff. The places they wipe their….Yes I’m going to say it…Boogers. What about the tiny little crumbs inside that cute little recliner you bought for their room? The tiny little plastic tea cups they drool all over during ‘tea time’.  The gum. Yes gum that they stuck to the bottom of their bed?  The sticky hot mess of drinks that were spilt in the car seat cup holders. 

I’ve talked about places to clean before, but I can’t help but find new places everytime I clean. New germ ridden locations in my house that I didn’t think about. It’s exhausting. Mentally and emotionally. If someone had told me being a mom meant finding questionable gunk hiding in random places all over my house for all eternity I may have reconsidered the mom job. Maybe. Probably not. 

Who am I kidding… I love my kiddos.  I want to make sure they are healthy and safe so when sickness plagues my household I go all out. The toothbrushes get replaced. The bedding gets washed. The walls get wiped down. The fake makeup gets thrown in the trash.  I supply myself with essential oils and antibacterials and go crazy. 

Stuffed animals get the sauna treatment in the dryer. The plastic stuff gets ran through the dishwasher​. I figure out what walls in my house need a new coat of paint and which ones just need a wipe down. 

 I’m hoping that my little one starts getting better soon. I don’t want both my kiddos sick. I also don’t want the ‘man flu’ to make an appearance. Nobody wants that hot mess!

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

Take care of yourself!

I have been sitting here in my quiet house, on a Friday night for an hour now.  Husband is working late. The tv is playing but I’m not really watching. I’m sewing on my machine​. Listening to the thunderstorms and enjoying the quiet. These nights come so few but I can’t help wishing I had something exciting to do. I’m bored of the same old “mom life” stuff. The laundry, the dishes, the cleaning, and the fighting with tiny humans to go to bed. I love to sew, and it’s relaxing but I’m burnt out on the repitition that is my life. Everyday, same old stuff. 

Since when did being a mom, mean not being able to have some fun? Since when does that mean that we are automatically home on the weekends and can’t let our hair down? It doesn’t. I want fun, romance, and adult conversation. I want hot dinner I don’t have to clean up and a movie that isn’t interupted by fighting kiddos. Hell, I’d settle for a long hot shower without children banging on the door. 

I can’t tell you the last time that I went to a store and bought something special for myself. I can tell you what I bought my girls, my husband, but not me. I’m sure there are moms that relate. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date with my husband. There used to be so many dinners and movies. Now it’s like we use the “we have kids” excuse too much. We do have kids, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go to dinner. It doesn’t mean that we can’t make time to keep the spark in our relationship lit. 

You can’t take care of your children, unless you take care of yourself. You can’t. So when you need a minute… Call up a friend, go to movie, go buy a milkshake. Find the time to take care of yourself. Kiss your husband, go to dinner and find time! Its important to not get “bored” or “burnt out”. I can’t be the best mom I can be without taking moments for myself to breathe and reflect on the stuff going on in my life. 

So tonight I’m going to enjoy this quiet house and this glass of wine. But tomorrow.. tomorrow my husband is taking me out for steak. He doesn’t know yet, so let’s not ruin the suprise! 

Hugs! -Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Derek Keats <a href=”″>Ligntning over Johannesburg, South Africa.</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;

Weaning off the Pacifier

So as a mom of four gorgeous children I have had my share of ups and downs. The weaning from the bottle and the co-sleeping and the late night cries … The list goes on. But one of the things I found fairly easy was taking away my kids pacifiers. 

No matter what you call it, a binky, paci, plug, tiny baby silencer, again the list goes on, every child is different. It takes patience, love and a little hidden frustration. It also sometimes takes wine. For you, not the kiddo. It’s hard! You will want to give in! I can’t count on one hand how many times I just avoided taking it away out of fear of losing my sanity. It will be ok and you will survive! So will your little one.

So one thing to remember, your tiny bundle of love has probably had that little darling silencer in her mouth her or his whole life. It’s apart of them! I don’t know about you but if someone tried to take something I’ve had my whole life away I’d be pretty ticked about it.  The trick is to try and do it very slowly, or very quickly! It really depends on your little kiddo. 

Mine was easy. I took that little Paci out of her mouth and walked it to the trash. Then I had about four days of crying and rocking her at bedtime and she was over it. It wasn’t​ all rainbows and sunshine but it was totally worth it! 

If you are stuck with a child who won’t be that easy to wean, my advice is to do a little at a time. Take the pacifier away as soon as they wake up. Don’t mention it at all and ignore their cries and screams for ‘paci’ or ‘binky’. You can also try making the pacifier “taste bad” where they won’t want to put it in their mouth. My pediatrician recommended that I ask the pharmacist for something safe but bad tasting to put on the Paci. I never had to ask but it’s worth a shot!  

 During naptime try something else. Try going for a drive or cuddling on the couch. It’s always different with each kiddo, but after awhile they will forget all about the pacifier. I used to let mine stay awake all day the first couple days of taking the pacifier and bottle away. Keeping them from napping meant they were extra tired at bedtime and would fall asleep faster. 

When it’s bedtime.. Put them to bed without it. Start a routine, if you don’t already have one. Then they will know what to expect. Read stories, rock them, whatever that you feel will help calm your child. Mine liked baths. Then we would read and then she would get tucked in with one of two stuffed animals. 

If after awhile, they seem to not want to go to sleep without it, let them have it. I mean after all they are our bundles of joy and we can’t stand seeing them cry. I would go into my kiddos room and take it from her after she fell asleep. That way it wasn’t there to tempt her in the morning. 

No matter what happens, remember that this is just one phase in life! It will be gone before you know it. Just try to have patience. It’s​ hard I know. I wanted to bang my head on a wall listening to my kids cry about things. I still do sometimes. But, unfortunately, we are the keeper of Cheerios, and the hard decisions. 

When they aren’t 15 in high school with a pacifier I’m sure they will thank us.. Maybe not, but here’s hoping!

Hugs- Kuddos and Kiddos
photo credit: jim.choate59 <a href=”″>Someone Somewhere is Crying</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;