Don’t Leave Before you Clean!

So as parents we are supposed to teach our kiddos how to be decent human beings. We start young with how not to color on tables and walls. Then we graduate to things like don’t chew with your mouth open, and clean up your mess. 
One thing I’ve seen that drives me nuts is when my kiddos go to someone’s house and makes a mess. Being a mom of tiny humans has given me a certain level of knowledge in the cleaning up messes department. And it’s not my fav. I also can’t even deal with other kids in my house making messes, IF their parents leave without making them clean it up. 

Let me elaborate. 

1. This is my family’s home. The location of my happiness, my bubble, my mess. MINE. Not yours. MINE. So.. when I spend all day cleaning up after my own kiddos and their room is all shiny and clean, I’m not at all interested in cleaning up all the toys left behind from your kiddos hanging out. I have enough messes to clean. That means, that if the toy box wasn’t upside down and the toys weren’t spilled out all over when you got here… Then it’s good mom etiquette to make sure it isn’t when you leave. 

2. My kids will HAVE to clean up messes at your house. Period. They destroy it, they clean it. It’s all about respecting someone else’s property. Not to mention as I have before, I know what it’s like to clean all day. Everyday. I’m pretty sure that I will be cleaning for all of eternity.  Also sure I didn’t sign up for that on paper anywhere… Unless they gave me paperwork during labor I didn’t read, in which case read your stuff ladies. Ha. But seriously, I want my kids to respect other people’s property. I want them to go to other people’s houses as a grown up and help clean dishes after dinner. I want them to not break their friends stuff. I want them to just be decent human beings. 

3. It’s not fair.  Pretty sure if I came to your house and started throwing your stuff around the living room and then bounced you’d be pretty upset. The same goes for ours kiddos. My daughter takes 7 days and 7 nights to clean her room. I can’t ask her to clean a mess she had help making. Well I could but that’s not really fair… Or is it? No. No. See now I’m giving myself ideas. If I ask my daughter to clean her room after several children have been in there making a mess, it will lead to disaster. I will definitely end up yelling. So again. Not fair. 

4. I also understand that toddlers won’t clean up their mess. That’s where you come in. Being a mom means having to clean up their mess. Even if that means at my house. Same goes for me. Like I mentioned before it’s good mom etiquette. 

It’s all for a good cause I swear. I want my children to be responsible for their actions. I want them to grow into decent human beings. If this is only one step in the right direction… Then let’s start here. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Dean Terry <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/16262447@N00/3234436685″>Cleaning Day?</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Mom Friends. 

I don’t know about y’all, but making friends with other moms is hard. What if they raise their kids different? What if I slip up and cuss in front of their kiddos? What if they think I’m a terrible person? 

Truth is. That sh*t don’t matter. Yes. That is right. It DOESN’T matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.  

I’m sitting at the ball field. My daughter is playing baseball.. not very well I might add.. but that’s​ ok. She’s six.  I am sitting in my truck. Now before you think the worst, I’m only sitting in my truck because it’s better than sitting on the nasty wet grass or the concrete slab the other moms are currently sitting on. BUT, if there were chairs… I’d still be in my truck. I can see my daughter and she can see me. So truck seat it is. 

This year I only know one mom. One. So that puts me in the awkward position to make small talk with other moms I don’t know. What do I talk about? Why do I say? Now, you would think that we have something to talk about because we have children who are on the same team. But no. My anxiety level sky-rockets into Galaxy mode when I’m around other moms. I have no idea why. I forget how to put words into sentences and I’m always afraid I’m going to sound like an idiot. So I like my safe zone in the truck.

Anxiety, well it sucks. I could be missing out on some pretty good friends. Hell, it took me one whole school year and half another one before I actually gave in and met my daughter’s best friend’s​ mom at the park. Then she turned out to be one of my best friends. 

Still, it’s not easy for moms to meet other moms. We have a hard time. But, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. I don’t always have the guts to say hi first. Then I realized that I may not be the only one who has a hard time. I mean, I can’t possibly be the only mom who has anxiety about meeting other people. Right?

It’s doesn’t matter what you think. Those moms have bad days too. Those moms have kids with temper tantrums, say cuss words ( maybe not at the frequency that I do), and have a hard time making mom friends too. So don’t worry about what you “think” they might say. Go say hello. Try to talk to someone. Now, I’m not saying everytime… because come on.. I’m sitting in my truck. But, who knows what friends are passing you by. 

And if it turns out that those moms really do care about how you raise your kids, the clothes you wear or the personality you present, move on. You can be civil without being hateful. It’s called being a grown up. And I hope my kids do the same when they are grown.

Hugs- Kuddos and Kiddos

photo credit: Jim Bauer <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/33087714@N04/33067066661″>Just Around the Corner</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

photo credit: IamNotUnique <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/15426517@N07/32891643850″>house</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Friends vs. Frienemies

So recently I’ve figured out that I have some really great friends. Being a SAHM I’ll say for all of us that we need friends. Real ones. Whether you are a 21 year old new mom or a 33 year old mom with 4 kids. Sometimes you need people to talk to. To vent to. To laugh with and cry with. And yes, most of us have husbands/boyfriends or the like but let’s face it. They are not interested in our Lady drama. At. All. 

I find myself complaining a lot. I call my friends and complain. I call my mom and complain and I call my mother in law and complain. Complain about dishes and laundry. Not having time or about some sort of problem I’m having with one of my other friends. Which happens a lot. I am the kind of person who has to talk things through. I need time to calm down before I talk to someone who has wronged me. Think it through.. out loud. 

Through my life I’ve had a lot of friends come and go. Some of whom weren’t my friends to begin with. And I found out the hard way. 

My definition of a friend is someone you can be honest with. Someone you can be real with. Who won’t share your secrets and you won’t share theirs. Someone who has your back, even when your wrong but won’t be afraid to tell you that you are either. I have 3 friends like this. 3. In 33 years. There are several moms I hang out with. Invite over to chat and play cards with. Have a drink with. But when my back is turned..

I think it’s important that every mom, not just SAHM ‘S, have friends. Our job is hard. We literally have little lives in our hands. The tiny humans who can’t fend for themselves. They need us 24/7. We cook, clean, chauffeur, sign papers, help with homework, hell we teach them to wipe their own ass. It’s important that we have someone to cut up with. To be ourselves around. We need someone we can have adult conversations with. 

But we also need friends we can depend on. Someone who will take on our venting and won’t turn around and make it a drama filled fun fest for everyone in town. Who will understand that what we say while we are annoyed, are just ramblings of a crazed, exhausted and overwhelmed person. Not to be confused as “running our mouths”. And I’m confused but if your a mom then you do realize that at one point or another you go through the same things right? 

So I guess where I was going with that is be kinder. Keep things to yourself. And help a mom in need. Sometimes we just need to yell at someone…Sometimes we need a stiff drink and an 8 hour nap. Sometimes we just need a friend!

And if your alone and you don’t have a friend, I’m here. Just figuring out things as I go. We can do it together! 

Hugs! – kuddos and kiddos

 photo credit: symphony of love <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/85608594@N00/31096368466″>Steven Aitchison True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;