Things Moms can do, but really can’t.

I’ve mentioned before that being a mom is hard work. It is. It’s all amazing and horrible at the same time. There’s so many things that we can do, but really can’t do. If your thinking about having kids of your own, you should know that all of things I’m about to mention are a no go when you become a parent. 
For starters. Cookies. We can eat cookies anytime we want. Or can we? No. We can’t. We can, but we can’t. See if I want to eat cookies for breakfast, I’m a grown ass woman. I can totally dunk Oreos in milk at 8 am. But I can’t because my kiddos will want Oreos for breakfast too and then I’ll be a terrible person for telling them no. (The trick here is oatmeal cookies. That way if you have to indulge, at least you can say they are sort of, kind of, not really healthy.) 

Then there’s not wearing a jacket. If it’s “chilly” outside, I don’t have to be a wuss and wear a coat. I can suck it up and go about my day. But my kids can’t. So do I want to argue with them because I’m not wearing one and they have to? Nope. So guess what princess? You’re wearing a coat. 

How about leaving your crap everywhere? I get home and I want to set my stuff on the table inside the door. Can I leave my shoes in the middle of the living room? Sure. But no. Because then when I am nagging my kids to pick up their crap, it will only be because they are following my lead. Sucks doesn’t it?

Suppose your sick. I mean really sick. Too bad cupcake. Your mom. There’s no sick days here. Have you tried changing a dirty diaper when you have the urge to vomit every 20 minutes? Yuck. If you’re blessed enough to have a man who steps up and gives you that sick day that you desperately need, tie him up and put him in the closet and never let him leave. He’s a keeper. 

Oh, and those nice clothes you bought? Forget them looking nice for long. Everytime you pick up your tiny kiddo you become a talking, breathing towel. We are talking everything from snot to cupcake icing. So that $30 top you bought to wear to Easter dinner… Well you should have got the $10 one because you will probably never wear it again. 

Long, hot showers. Remember those? I remember being able to stand in the shower for 30 minutes if I wanted too. Now I have tiny human hands under the door waiting for me. Better master shaving those legs really fast without cutting yourself ladies…

Plans. What are those? You can’t make plans.. You got invited to girls night? Well Dad is sick and the babysitter cancelled. You have a birthday party to go to? Well tiny human number one has a fever… It happens almost everytime! Then when you do get a chance to get out, you will get some kind of phone call about them and will have to head back early. #momlife I think they call it.

Grocery shopping becomes a nightmare. If you take your kids to the grocery store you will end up buying a minimum of 3 extra items at least. There will be some kind of meltdown in aisle #4 and checking out will be a fight to see how many candy bars you can “say” you will buy and how many you actually get back on the shelf before they notice. It’s a good time. I’m lying. 

Then there’s staying up late. You can. You’re an adult. But, you’re going to be freaking tired when your kids get up at 6am demanding breakfast though. Or the 4am nightmare, the 2am feeding, the rolling out of the bed 10 minutes before your alarm. I’m sure you get it. 

There’s so many things we moms do for our kiddos. I love my kids. I love doing every single thing I do everyday​. But nobody tells you about the little stuff you will miss once you become a mother. Some moms are built tough for these kinds of things. I deal, but it doesn’t mean I like it. So before you have kids, make sure these are things your willing to deal with. Also you should understand that there’s about a million other “small things” that you “can do” but can’t. Not really. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

***I had a little help with this post. I got real life ideas from some of my awesome mom friends. You know who you are! Thank you! 

Don’t Leave Before you Clean!

So as parents we are supposed to teach our kiddos how to be decent human beings. We start young with how not to color on tables and walls. Then we graduate to things like don’t chew with your mouth open, and clean up your mess. 
One thing I’ve seen that drives me nuts is when my kiddos go to someone’s house and makes a mess. Being a mom of tiny humans has given me a certain level of knowledge in the cleaning up messes department. And it’s not my fav. I also can’t even deal with other kids in my house making messes, IF their parents leave without making them clean it up. 

Let me elaborate. 

1. This is my family’s home. The location of my happiness, my bubble, my mess. MINE. Not yours. MINE. So.. when I spend all day cleaning up after my own kiddos and their room is all shiny and clean, I’m not at all interested in cleaning up all the toys left behind from your kiddos hanging out. I have enough messes to clean. That means, that if the toy box wasn’t upside down and the toys weren’t spilled out all over when you got here… Then it’s good mom etiquette to make sure it isn’t when you leave. 

2. My kids will HAVE to clean up messes at your house. Period. They destroy it, they clean it. It’s all about respecting someone else’s property. Not to mention as I have before, I know what it’s like to clean all day. Everyday. I’m pretty sure that I will be cleaning for all of eternity.  Also sure I didn’t sign up for that on paper anywhere… Unless they gave me paperwork during labor I didn’t read, in which case read your stuff ladies. Ha. But seriously, I want my kids to respect other people’s property. I want them to go to other people’s houses as a grown up and help clean dishes after dinner. I want them to not break their friends stuff. I want them to just be decent human beings. 

3. It’s not fair.  Pretty sure if I came to your house and started throwing your stuff around the living room and then bounced you’d be pretty upset. The same goes for ours kiddos. My daughter takes 7 days and 7 nights to clean her room. I can’t ask her to clean a mess she had help making. Well I could but that’s not really fair… Or is it? No. No. See now I’m giving myself ideas. If I ask my daughter to clean her room after several children have been in there making a mess, it will lead to disaster. I will definitely end up yelling. So again. Not fair. 

4. I also understand that toddlers won’t clean up their mess. That’s where you come in. Being a mom means having to clean up their mess. Even if that means at my house. Same goes for me. Like I mentioned before it’s good mom etiquette. 

It’s all for a good cause I swear. I want my children to be responsible for their actions. I want them to grow into decent human beings. If this is only one step in the right direction… Then let’s start here. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Dean Terry <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/16262447@N00/3234436685″>Cleaning Day?</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Mom Friends. 

I don’t know about y’all, but making friends with other moms is hard. What if they raise their kids different? What if I slip up and cuss in front of their kiddos? What if they think I’m a terrible person? 

Truth is. That sh*t don’t matter. Yes. That is right. It DOESN’T matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.  

I’m sitting at the ball field. My daughter is playing baseball.. not very well I might add.. but that’s​ ok. She’s six.  I am sitting in my truck. Now before you think the worst, I’m only sitting in my truck because it’s better than sitting on the nasty wet grass or the concrete slab the other moms are currently sitting on. BUT, if there were chairs… I’d still be in my truck. I can see my daughter and she can see me. So truck seat it is. 

This year I only know one mom. One. So that puts me in the awkward position to make small talk with other moms I don’t know. What do I talk about? Why do I say? Now, you would think that we have something to talk about because we have children who are on the same team. But no. My anxiety level sky-rockets into Galaxy mode when I’m around other moms. I have no idea why. I forget how to put words into sentences and I’m always afraid I’m going to sound like an idiot. So I like my safe zone in the truck.

Anxiety, well it sucks. I could be missing out on some pretty good friends. Hell, it took me one whole school year and half another one before I actually gave in and met my daughter’s best friend’s​ mom at the park. Then she turned out to be one of my best friends. 

Still, it’s not easy for moms to meet other moms. We have a hard time. But, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. I don’t always have the guts to say hi first. Then I realized that I may not be the only one who has a hard time. I mean, I can’t possibly be the only mom who has anxiety about meeting other people. Right?

It’s doesn’t matter what you think. Those moms have bad days too. Those moms have kids with temper tantrums, say cuss words ( maybe not at the frequency that I do), and have a hard time making mom friends too. So don’t worry about what you “think” they might say. Go say hello. Try to talk to someone. Now, I’m not saying everytime… because come on.. I’m sitting in my truck. But, who knows what friends are passing you by. 

And if it turns out that those moms really do care about how you raise your kids, the clothes you wear or the personality you present, move on. You can be civil without being hateful. It’s called being a grown up. And I hope my kids do the same when they are grown.

Hugs- Kuddos and Kiddos

photo credit: Jim Bauer <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/33087714@N04/33067066661″>Just Around the Corner</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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We Have a Trickster in the House

So my toddler is becoming a real pro at tricking me. She’s slick. One of the things that she has recently got me with is naptime. She acts tired like she might lay down and then BAM. She’s bouncing around like somebody gave her a bag of Skittles. Hopefully nobody hid a bag in her room. I should probably check. I have some sketchy friends. Seriously though she is a real trickster.

Today I tried laying down with her in my bed. I tried that ‘fake sleep’ trick. I tucked her in and got her comfy and then laid perfectly still. She kissed me a couple of times, tried to pry my eyes open with her tiny fingers and even played with her toes awhile. 

Now here’s where the trick part comes into play. I’m not exactly sure when she fell asleep. I’m not sure when she finally got comfortable enough, or tired enough to give in. I’m not even sure if she was covered with a blanket or not because three hours later we were both waking up to my phone ringing. Yes I slept three whole hours. See what a trickster she is? I didn’t even know I was tired! 

Man did that nap feel amazing though.

She’s been on a roll lately. Figures that me trying to trick her  would backfire. 

Another event this week was the ‘cookie grab and ditch’. She kept asking me for cookies. I was also indulging on a few so how could I say no right? Well, I kept giving her cookies and she would disappear in her room with them. A few minutes later, she would come back for another one. I assumed she was eating them. Until I went to put laundry away in her room the next day and found them in her bottom dresser drawer. Haha. Kids. 

She also likes to hide behind my big living room curtains after she has done something she shouldn’t. I will almost always find a big mess, colored wall or knocked over mop bucket if she’s behind the curtain. Yesterday it was paperclips. All the paperclips had been dumped into the toilet. This is in the 5 minutes that it took me to switch the laundry around. Sigh.

I don’t remember being this clever at a young age. I have high hopes for this one. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

photo credit: C. P. Ewing <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/132033298@N04/32837943906″>Monarch Butterfly</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Sure I sit all day.. that’s what SAHM’s do. 

So there a lot of hype about being a stay at home mom. We are over worked, under paid, and sometimes we give off the impression that we really don’t do a whole lot of nothing. So I decided to share my day with everyone. Hope we can clear up some of the confusion. (So for this post I’ve decided to use “boom”  and “bang” for the girls names. It will be easier to keep them apart. Boom is my 6 year old. Bang is my 2 year. Fitting isn’t it? Haha)

7:35am –  woke up getting smacked in the forehead by Bang. “Mama!” Yes I’m up. It has to be like 9 right? Nope. 7:30. Fantastic. 

7:45 am – Changed Bang’s diaper. Cleaned up 57 baby wipes off the floor that she pulled out of the package. Took pen out of her hand. Where did that even come from? Ugh. Put Bang on potty. Nothing. 

8:15 am – Boom is up. And she’s STARVING. Here comes breakfast… Eggos count as breakfast right? Got toaster out. Dropped butter in the floor. Cleaned up butter. Put waffles in toaster. I need caffeine.

8:24am – Sitting down to eat waffles. Boom needs a drink. Getting up to get drink. Bang dropped her plate in the floor. Need to make more waffles. Gave her my waffles. Gave up making me waffles. Started dishes. Put Bang back on potty. Nothing. New diaper. 

9:15 am – Cleaned up Tupperware lids that Bang got out and threw in the floor. Turned on the tv for the girls. Started laundry. Folded clean laundry. Took pen away from Bang. Where does she keep getting those?! Cleaned ink off the table and couch with hairspray. Put Bang on potty. Still nothing. Finished folding laundry and put away clothes. Got Bang and Boom dressed. Cleaned toothpaste off the wall in bathroom.. Added hairspray to shopping list. Sat down. Dog needs to go out. Let the dog out. Let the dogs in. Check on Bang. Put clothes back into her dresser drawers she pulled out. Made her bed. Put Bang on Potty, again nothing. 

11:30 am – Made lunch. Sat down to eat. I actually sat the whole time. About twenty mins. This must be where the all day comes from? 

Noon – Cleaned up lunch mess. Got Boom a drink. Wiped up milk in floor. Mopped kitchen floor. Got Bang another drink.  While in the fridge, Bang knocked over the mop bucket. Sigh.  Cleaned up mop water with towels. Put Bang on Potty. NOTHING. Ugh. 

1pm – Naptime. Put Bang in bed. Got her a drink. Changed her diaper. Left the room. Turned on the tv. Sat down. Here comes Bang. Take Bang back in her room. Lay down next to her. Getting kicked in the head. She refuses to nap. Get up get her another drink. She’s back in the floor playing with toys. Give up on nap. 

2:30pm – Get crayons out for the girls. Set them up at the table. Do more laundry. Clean 50 crayons off the floor. Wipe crayon off the table. Hang up artwork. Wipe up spilled drink. Take pen away from Bang. Throw stinking pen in trash can. Clean up ink of wall and table. Let the dogs back out. Put Bang on the potty. You know what happens.. Start prepping for dinner.

3:30pm – Start peeling potatoes. Break up a fight between Bang and Boom. Put Boom in time out for hitting her sister. Play in the floor with Bang and some blocks. Sneak away to finish potatoes. Let Boom out of time out. Listen to a very nice song Boom wrote in her head while in timeout.  Start prepping everything else. What does she have now? Toilet paper. Fantastic. Clean up toilet paper all over the house. Take shoe out of dogs mouth. Scold dog. Scold Boom for not putting her shoe away. Go back in kitchen to check dinner. Put Bang on Potty. Laugh when she says no. Take Bang off potty. Give up on potty. 

5 pm – Dinner is done. Fix the girls plates. Hubby is home. Another drink is spilled in the rush to daddy. Clean up mess. Sit the girls down to eat. Listen to Boom complain about green beans. Laugh at Bang for the mashed potatoes on her nose. Sit down. Eat. Clean up the girls. Clean up the table. Do dishes. Soak pots. Because I want something else to do tomorrow. 

6pm – Bang isn’t wearing a diaper.  Where is the diaper? Please tell me there no poo. Crap. There’s poo.  Put Bang in the bath tub. Put Boom in the bathtub. Clean water off the floor. Listen to Bang cry when it’s time to get out. Get their PJs on. Chase Bang around brushing her hair. Cleaned the floor where diaper explosion happened. Mop and bleach floor. Call to hubby to let dogs out. 

8pm – Bedtime. Tell Boom and Bang it’s bedtime. Insert imaginary ear plugs while Boom complains it’s bedtime. Tuck her into bed. Leave her room. Pick up toys in living room. Tuck Bang into her bed. Stand in middle of the living room forgetting something. Laundry. Fold more laundry. Put Bang back in her bed. Listen to her cries. 

9:30pm – sit down. Play game on cell phone. Pause game. Put Bang back in bed. Get her more drink. Sit down and play game. Get bored of game. Write this blog post. Stop in middle and put Bang in my bed. Bang is sleeping. Woo. 

10:30pm – eat ice cream.  Go to bed. Tomorrow will be fun. Haha. 


That’s a normal day for me. Share your normal and not normal with me! We mom’s have to stick together! 

Hugs! Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Matthew Paul Argall <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/79157069@N03/30759511976″>Pink flowers and a mess of tree branches</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

The Bedtime Fight, Getting my Toddler in her own Bed.

So I’ve been trying to get my tiny kiddo to sleep in her own bed for months. I swore when she was an infant that she would sleep in her own bed and not co-sleep with us but that was a flop. She was in her crib until she was old enough to figure out mom and dad’s bed was better. I mean who wouldn’t want to snuggle with us? We are awesome. But still, it has been a constant battle to get her back into her own room for bed. 

Last night I caved and let her sleep with me. Which puts dad on the couch. We want to try and be as safe as possible when it comes to co-sleeping with our toddler. Also, my hubby isn’t amused by being kicked in the kidney at 3 am and my toddler and I are bed hogs. Yes I said it. I totally admit that the blanket is mine. I call dibs. Snooze you lose.

Tonight I have actually mastered the bedtime rituals. No matter how many times she has come out of her bedroom, I have put her back. I’ve changed her diaper, gave her new drinks, turned on the tv, turned the light back off a million times and have tucked her and all 100 baby dolls in. I have firmly told her go to bed when she comes into the living room to play. I’ve ignored her sneaking out of bed and playing with toys in the dark floor. 

She gets all excited when daddy comes in her room to put her back to bed. It’s almost pointless to let him try. She screams with delight ” Daddy! ” Then he has to explain to her it’s bedtime all over. He filled her cup, turned on her nightlight, told her good night, asked her to lay down and left the room. She gets up before he leaves the hallway and gets down to play with toys. 

She even got up and closed the door to her room. Apparently she thinks that when she does this, I won’t notice the extremely loud toy being dragged across the floor to the light switch. Or the light glowing from under the door, and that I will let her just stay playing. We seriously have a tiny genius on our hands.  She even went as far as pretending to close her eyes when I came into the room, even though she was standing in the middle. Also, she can’t close her eyes very well either, but she doesn’t know that. 


After about two hours of fighting with her and cleaning up messes and listening to her cry. She’s asleep. In her bed. Now I know that in about an hour she will be in my bed anyways. But I’ll take this as a win. She fell asleep in her bed! Woo! Go us! Maybe tomorrow we can make it without all the chaos. 

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Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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Cleaning.. For a Mom

Sooo hi there. How was your day? We’re your kiddos behaved? My day was great! My kiddos were super behaved except the normal sibling bickering and fighting. I spent all day cleaning. All. Day. Long. 

I’m sure that everything I’m about to say is exactly how every other mom on the planet feels about cleaning. Some of us love it. Some of us hate it. I like having a super clean home, but I hate to clean it. I’ll come clean your house no problem. Mine is another story. 

Kitchen: 

Dishes are NEVER done. Ever. I hate dishes. I’m a procrastinator. I cook dinner, wait until morning, then fill pot with hot soapy water and possibly wash it before the hubby gets home. Possibly. Sometimes I get all excited about my super clean kitchen and do the dishes immediately.. but rarely. 

Then there’s the stuck on burnt mess on my cooktop. Ugh… I know and you know that if I had wiped that blob of spaghetti sauce up when it splashed out of the pan, I wouldn’t be looking at my stove like it was the devil right now. 

And there’s always a dish somewhere else in the house that we missed. Always. It’s under a bed or couch, or sitting on a table. 

Kids rooms:

OK so this is the part that other moms will disagree with me about. You either have an adorable tiny human with a cutest little room that you love to organize, or a scary, slobby teenager whose room you are scared to go into. Either way, crap, we are the moms and we have to clean it. 

Toy boxes are always full of more than toys. Always. Socks, lollipop sticks, half eaten Pop tarts, dog toys, that shoe you thought you lost a month ago, the list goes on. It’s literally a catch all for anything kid related. I have found some pretty interesting things in my kiddos boxes. 

Looking under the beds is down right dangerous. It is. Abort mission. I repeat abort mission. There’s going to be something scary under there and I’m not talking about a monster. Sippy cups are the Worst.  Then if you happen to have a dog like we do, sticking your hand underneath the bed might make you cringe a little when it comes out covered in dog hair that your vaccum can’t reach… No judgement from me.. trust me.

Bathrooms: 

It really doesn’t matter how many times you clean your bathroom. It’s dirty. It’s covered in germs. I hate germs. They make my kiddos sick, then they make me sick, then I can’t be the best mom I can be.

There’s always pee where there shouldn’t be pee. There’s always toothpaste where there shouldn’t be toothpaste. There’s a small chance that, if you have a toddler like mine, there’s a pile of toilet paper next to the toilet on the floor. Bathrooms are gross. When you have kids it seems they are never stay super clean either. I cleaned my bathroom this morning. I think I may go do that again…

Then there’s laundry:

I have girls. They change their outfits like 37 times a day. They get random shirts out of the closet for dress up. They use 20 towels to wipe up real and imaginary spills. On the daily. I’m always doing laundry. I can’t lie though,  I love it. I love washing and folding it anyways. Most of the time I wait three days to put it away. It’s that mom life. I can’t help it. It’s clean that’s all that matters right?

After spending all day cleaning, I still have my living room and dining room left to scrub. I still have like 10 loads of laundry to wash. I still have tonight dishes to do.  I only found 3 lollipop sticks, one random shoe without a match and a half eaten dog bone. So all in all I’d say that … I completely wasted my time today cleaning because by this time tomorrow it will be exactly back to the way it was before and I will get to start all over again. Haha.
Thanks for reading!

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: yourbestdigs <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/143676616@N05/27187837633″>Bounty paper towel on table next to Windex</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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Feeling accomplished

Today I rocked at mom life. I mean rocked it. The kids were fed. The dogs were fed. The laundry is done … Well not anymore. But it was I swear! The dishes are done. I played blocks today. I read a book today. I went outside (gasp) and got the mail.  I made tortellini for dinner. My daughter’s homework is done. Her backpack is hanging up for tomorrow and shes bathed and in bed. My mini is relaxing on the couch next to me about to fall asleep. I mean hot damn y’all .. I rocked it. 

I actually have nothing else to do. Nothing. I can sit back and relax. Do you know how long it’s been? AWHILE. 

It makes you think about all the rush rush rush of mom life. I’ve been going non stop for days. I find myself so busy. Always moving. Never really accomplishing anything. There’s always one more plate to wash. One more thing to do. Not tonight. I am taking off. Done. This mama has left the building. I’m going to take a really long shower. Then Maybe  I’ll sew something. Maybe I will have ice cream and watch TV. Maybe I’ll read a book. 

Ha. No. Who am I kidding? I’m going straight to bed! 😂

Hugs! – kuddos and kiddos