Technology Sucks

When I was a kid I didn’t have a tablet. No lap tops, no game consoles that accessed the world wide web. I had a box in the living room that we could play mine sweep or solitaire on but it took twenty minutes or so to boot up. I spent most of my summer vacations playing make believe in the woods, riding my bike and getting cuts and bruises. Swimming in the pool and trying very badly to skateboard down the street. We didn’t have videos showing us about new toys. We didn’t have Snapchat and other such apps on our smart phones. Heck I didn’t even have a cell phone until I was almost 20.

This week I’ve been re-evaluating my kiddos screen time. I have heard so many crazy things about children now-a-days on their tablets and lap tops and such, watching things they shouldn’t. Talking to people they don’t know, sending pictures of an obsene nature to friends and girlfriend’s and boyfriend’s. Being bullies and starting rumors, sharing private things that should never leave their lips. My six year old is very fluent in the “smart” technology portion of our household. It terrifies me. Absolutely terrifies me.

She can almost use my phone better than I can. But where do I draw the line? Do I give her the room to make a mistake or do I limit her time? Do I take them all away? I don’t know. But what I do know is that education is key. For parents and adults.

First thing, know what your kids are doing. Know what they are watching. Don’t be afraid to ask them, be nosy. My kiddos aren’t allowed to be in another room with their tablet and have the door closed. I have a specific email that I have signed into every single internet capable device in the house. I’ve linked it to my cell phone so that I can see exactly what videos on YouTube she watches and exactly what activity she helps herself too.

I limit the time that she plays. I try to encourage her to play outside. Have sleepovers, color, play make believe. Of course now that she has had screen time it’s hard to pull her back from that. She wants to watch little kids on a video play make believe with their babies instead of actually playing herself.

But, none of that saved me from catching her watching inappropriate videos. She still tried and she still saw things she shouldn’t have. I took her tablet away, she was grounded for a month. We haven’t had any repeats of this behavior but the tablet has taking over her childhood play.

She won’t ride her bike, she won’t play outside, she would rather be in her tablet in her room.

I’ve heard stories from friends about their kids talking to strangers on social media, my own teenager daughter was recently involved in a “picture swap” if you will. I’ve heard of a 10 year old who was watching porn. Kids who are meeting up with grown adults they have never met, and being taken from their families. Some of them never to be seen again.

I think this house will be taking a break from the technology for awhile. Time to go plant flowers, have a picnic and take a walk. I want to protect my children. More than anything. I know that I can’t protect them from everything. But I’m sure as hell going try.

Hugs! – Mama Kuddo aka Kristy

photo credit: wuestenigel Tablet and Pen via photopin (license)

photo credit: Wayan Vota The modern toddler iPad experience via photopin (license)

“Mom” Clothes


So the other day I took my kids to a clothing store so I could buy some summer clothes. Let’s face it, as much as we moms try to stay wearing one size from year to year, it doesn’t usually pan out. This year I decided that I needed to take my kiddos with me on this little adventure. It was an impulse decision, that I later learned was a terrible one. Have you actually tried on clothes in a changing room with a six year old and a two year old? If you have, then I feel you girl!

So, I hate clothes shopping. I will​ buy all the clothes in the world for my kiddos and my husband, but if I have to go clothes shopping for me, I’d rather take a nap. After almost two years going by since the birth of my youngest, I realized that I didn’t have a single pair of shorts. So off to the store I went. 

I had an idea of what I wanted to buy. I also had an idea on my kiddos behavior. I figured that my 6 yr old would touch everything and my 2 yr old would run off. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into. 

So I start looking for shorts in the size jeans I wear. Well turns out that not all store sizes are the same, so I ended up wearing a size that was 4 times bigger than my jeans size. Gasp! I also tried to find a pair of shorts that I would be comfortable in. Turns out that’s hard to do. Being a mom of 4, I’m a little self conscious about my body these days. I’m 33, I’m getting older. Things don’t really stay in place like they should if you know what I mean. 

After shopping for about an hour I left with two pairs and most of my sanity intact. But, I realized something. 

When I was a little younger, I used to say things like ” I’ll never wear mom jeans” blah blah blah. Yea well now I know why moms wear “mom” Jeans. It hides the belly fat from having kids. It’s more comfy wearing pants that are fitting rather than wearing jeans a size smaller so your butt looks good. Yes that is a thing when you’re young. 

I also now know why moms wear yoga pants. Man do I LOVE my yoga pants. Moms love them because we are too freaking tired. I can’t speak for every mom, but if you come to my house in the morning there’s a good chance that I’m wearing the yoga pants that I wore to bed. Heck, I may even have them on at dinner if I’m feeling adventurous.

I know why moms wear leggings, instead of jeans. Because we chase tiny humans all day and unless you buy “mom” jeans, they are restricting and uncomfortable. I want to be able to super clean my house and have full range of motion. Even if I am getting old and everything hurts. I also want range of motion for when I tell my husband I have a headache. Getting comfortable enough to fall asleep with a fake headache is hard to do. 

So it looks like I’m in the “mom” clothes category. And I’m totally ok with that. Especially since I’ll probably never take two kids shopping for clothes again until they are teenagers. 

Hugs! -Kuddos and Kiddos
photo credit: Jonathan Rolande <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/110671496@N06/17284665296″>Children’s Nearly New Sale</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Sit Down and Shut It Up: Parents Who Talk Bad About Parents. 

I don’t understand what the problem is. If our kiddos are clean, fed, and cared for that’s what matters right? So why do we keep putting other parents down for things? Why do we take it upon ourselves to be total judge mental tards? Yup that’s what I said, tards. Better than what I was thinking. 
I’m so tired of hearing about what this parent or that parent did or didn’t do. Most of the time, it’s from someone who IS a parent. Now I know darn well that you have been through tough parenting moments. Hence the word ‘parent’.

I know that you have been up every hour on the hour, comforting a sick child. I know that you have had a toddler who will only eat the jelly off their bread, instead of the whole dang sandwich like a normal person. Or have a child ask for a banana only to throw it in the floor. Or eat two bites of their food and ask for a snack. This list of food examples could get intense. I’ll end it here…

I know that you, a parent, of children, have had to physically hold down your child to get boogers out of their nose. You have turned your head for five seconds and your child has wrote on the wall… In their own poo. If that’s something that has only happened to me I’m disappointed. Seriously. 

I know that you have fought your kiddos for an hour to get them to go to bed at night. Listened to their whiney cries when they don’t get a nap. Fought with them over a candy bar at the grocery store. Let go of their hand in the parking lot to get your keys out of your purse, only to have a heart attack when they almost get hit by a car. Let go of your child at the zoo and freaked the hell out because he disappeared around the corner while you were looking at the penguins with the other kids. Come on those little buggers are adorable..

I know that you have put Band-Aids on imaginary boo boos.  Played tea party with a child who won’t let you look at her stuffed bear. I know that you have screamed at your child for nothing except that whatever you told them to do, they didn’t do, and probably didn’t need to be yelled at like that but OMG JUST LISTEN. I know that you have ate all the rest of the candy so the kids couldn’t. Guilty as charged. 

I know that you have tried teaching them how to use the potty, only to fail. Currently going on at my house. I know that you have dropped an entire gallon of milk on the floor, had to get in your vehicle and go to the store, at midnight, all while your child screams bloody murder in the back seat because they want milk. (True story)

I know that you have cleaned, repeatedly. Everyday. For hours. I know that the laundry is never done. The dishes are always dirty and the house is always messy. I know that you are EXHAUSTED. So why in the hell do I always hear things about “bad moms” or “terrible dads” from people who are parents?

If you SHOW UP day in and day out. If you try your very best to do every single thing in your power to ensure the healthy, positive growth of your children, even when you might make a mistake… Then shut the hell up. Yup. Shut it up. 

You have no right to judge another parent. 

1. Not your business. 

2. Not your business. 

3. You are literally going through or have gone through the same things that they are. 

4. Not your business. 

And if you DON’T show up. If you don’t TRY. If you aren’t there. Then you don’t have the right to judge a parent who does. So shut up. Sit down. Step aside. 

Because parents, real ones, we know what the day to day is about. We show up. We put our big, grown up britches on and we laugh at the mistakes and we learn from them. So stop putting all the other parents down. You have no idea what they might be going through. Or what toddler, pre-teen or teenager they have to hide from. 

If parenting was easy there would be a book. Being a parent, I know there isn’t a step by step guide book. Trust me I checked. 

-Kuddos and Kiddos

Things Moms can do, but really can’t.

I’ve mentioned before that being a mom is hard work. It is. It’s all amazing and horrible at the same time. There’s so many things that we can do, but really can’t do. If your thinking about having kids of your own, you should know that all of things I’m about to mention are a no go when you become a parent. 
For starters. Cookies. We can eat cookies anytime we want. Or can we? No. We can’t. We can, but we can’t. See if I want to eat cookies for breakfast, I’m a grown ass woman. I can totally dunk Oreos in milk at 8 am. But I can’t because my kiddos will want Oreos for breakfast too and then I’ll be a terrible person for telling them no. (The trick here is oatmeal cookies. That way if you have to indulge, at least you can say they are sort of, kind of, not really healthy.) 

Then there’s not wearing a jacket. If it’s “chilly” outside, I don’t have to be a wuss and wear a coat. I can suck it up and go about my day. But my kids can’t. So do I want to argue with them because I’m not wearing one and they have to? Nope. So guess what princess? You’re wearing a coat. 

How about leaving your crap everywhere? I get home and I want to set my stuff on the table inside the door. Can I leave my shoes in the middle of the living room? Sure. But no. Because then when I am nagging my kids to pick up their crap, it will only be because they are following my lead. Sucks doesn’t it?

Suppose your sick. I mean really sick. Too bad cupcake. Your mom. There’s no sick days here. Have you tried changing a dirty diaper when you have the urge to vomit every 20 minutes? Yuck. If you’re blessed enough to have a man who steps up and gives you that sick day that you desperately need, tie him up and put him in the closet and never let him leave. He’s a keeper. 

Oh, and those nice clothes you bought? Forget them looking nice for long. Everytime you pick up your tiny kiddo you become a talking, breathing towel. We are talking everything from snot to cupcake icing. So that $30 top you bought to wear to Easter dinner… Well you should have got the $10 one because you will probably never wear it again. 

Long, hot showers. Remember those? I remember being able to stand in the shower for 30 minutes if I wanted too. Now I have tiny human hands under the door waiting for me. Better master shaving those legs really fast without cutting yourself ladies…

Plans. What are those? You can’t make plans.. You got invited to girls night? Well Dad is sick and the babysitter cancelled. You have a birthday party to go to? Well tiny human number one has a fever… It happens almost everytime! Then when you do get a chance to get out, you will get some kind of phone call about them and will have to head back early. #momlife I think they call it.

Grocery shopping becomes a nightmare. If you take your kids to the grocery store you will end up buying a minimum of 3 extra items at least. There will be some kind of meltdown in aisle #4 and checking out will be a fight to see how many candy bars you can “say” you will buy and how many you actually get back on the shelf before they notice. It’s a good time. I’m lying. 

Then there’s staying up late. You can. You’re an adult. But, you’re going to be freaking tired when your kids get up at 6am demanding breakfast though. Or the 4am nightmare, the 2am feeding, the rolling out of the bed 10 minutes before your alarm. I’m sure you get it. 

There’s so many things we moms do for our kiddos. I love my kids. I love doing every single thing I do everyday​. But nobody tells you about the little stuff you will miss once you become a mother. Some moms are built tough for these kinds of things. I deal, but it doesn’t mean I like it. So before you have kids, make sure these are things your willing to deal with. Also you should understand that there’s about a million other “small things” that you “can do” but can’t. Not really. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

***I had a little help with this post. I got real life ideas from some of my awesome mom friends. You know who you are! Thank you! 

Don’t Leave Before you Clean!

So as parents we are supposed to teach our kiddos how to be decent human beings. We start young with how not to color on tables and walls. Then we graduate to things like don’t chew with your mouth open, and clean up your mess. 
One thing I’ve seen that drives me nuts is when my kiddos go to someone’s house and makes a mess. Being a mom of tiny humans has given me a certain level of knowledge in the cleaning up messes department. And it’s not my fav. I also can’t even deal with other kids in my house making messes, IF their parents leave without making them clean it up. 

Let me elaborate. 

1. This is my family’s home. The location of my happiness, my bubble, my mess. MINE. Not yours. MINE. So.. when I spend all day cleaning up after my own kiddos and their room is all shiny and clean, I’m not at all interested in cleaning up all the toys left behind from your kiddos hanging out. I have enough messes to clean. That means, that if the toy box wasn’t upside down and the toys weren’t spilled out all over when you got here… Then it’s good mom etiquette to make sure it isn’t when you leave. 

2. My kids will HAVE to clean up messes at your house. Period. They destroy it, they clean it. It’s all about respecting someone else’s property. Not to mention as I have before, I know what it’s like to clean all day. Everyday. I’m pretty sure that I will be cleaning for all of eternity.  Also sure I didn’t sign up for that on paper anywhere… Unless they gave me paperwork during labor I didn’t read, in which case read your stuff ladies. Ha. But seriously, I want my kids to respect other people’s property. I want them to go to other people’s houses as a grown up and help clean dishes after dinner. I want them to not break their friends stuff. I want them to just be decent human beings. 

3. It’s not fair.  Pretty sure if I came to your house and started throwing your stuff around the living room and then bounced you’d be pretty upset. The same goes for ours kiddos. My daughter takes 7 days and 7 nights to clean her room. I can’t ask her to clean a mess she had help making. Well I could but that’s not really fair… Or is it? No. No. See now I’m giving myself ideas. If I ask my daughter to clean her room after several children have been in there making a mess, it will lead to disaster. I will definitely end up yelling. So again. Not fair. 

4. I also understand that toddlers won’t clean up their mess. That’s where you come in. Being a mom means having to clean up their mess. Even if that means at my house. Same goes for me. Like I mentioned before it’s good mom etiquette. 

It’s all for a good cause I swear. I want my children to be responsible for their actions. I want them to grow into decent human beings. If this is only one step in the right direction… Then let’s start here. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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photo credit: Dean Terry <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/16262447@N00/3234436685″>Cleaning Day?</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Mom Friends. 

I don’t know about y’all, but making friends with other moms is hard. What if they raise their kids different? What if I slip up and cuss in front of their kiddos? What if they think I’m a terrible person? 

Truth is. That sh*t don’t matter. Yes. That is right. It DOESN’T matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.  

I’m sitting at the ball field. My daughter is playing baseball.. not very well I might add.. but that’s​ ok. She’s six.  I am sitting in my truck. Now before you think the worst, I’m only sitting in my truck because it’s better than sitting on the nasty wet grass or the concrete slab the other moms are currently sitting on. BUT, if there were chairs… I’d still be in my truck. I can see my daughter and she can see me. So truck seat it is. 

This year I only know one mom. One. So that puts me in the awkward position to make small talk with other moms I don’t know. What do I talk about? Why do I say? Now, you would think that we have something to talk about because we have children who are on the same team. But no. My anxiety level sky-rockets into Galaxy mode when I’m around other moms. I have no idea why. I forget how to put words into sentences and I’m always afraid I’m going to sound like an idiot. So I like my safe zone in the truck.

Anxiety, well it sucks. I could be missing out on some pretty good friends. Hell, it took me one whole school year and half another one before I actually gave in and met my daughter’s best friend’s​ mom at the park. Then she turned out to be one of my best friends. 

Still, it’s not easy for moms to meet other moms. We have a hard time. But, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. I don’t always have the guts to say hi first. Then I realized that I may not be the only one who has a hard time. I mean, I can’t possibly be the only mom who has anxiety about meeting other people. Right?

It’s doesn’t matter what you think. Those moms have bad days too. Those moms have kids with temper tantrums, say cuss words ( maybe not at the frequency that I do), and have a hard time making mom friends too. So don’t worry about what you “think” they might say. Go say hello. Try to talk to someone. Now, I’m not saying everytime… because come on.. I’m sitting in my truck. But, who knows what friends are passing you by. 

And if it turns out that those moms really do care about how you raise your kids, the clothes you wear or the personality you present, move on. You can be civil without being hateful. It’s called being a grown up. And I hope my kids do the same when they are grown.

Hugs- Kuddos and Kiddos

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Sickness Means More Cleaning

So the tiny kiddo is sick again. Pneumonia this time. She is absolutely miserable! After spending the day at the doctor, I have come home to a messy house and I am ready to tear it apart and kill germs. As a mom, I know where the obvious places are. Door knobs, light switches, bathrooms, I mean we moms know how to kill those germs.

What about the places you don’t think about though? The places that they hide stuff. The places they wipe their….Yes I’m going to say it…Boogers. What about the tiny little crumbs inside that cute little recliner you bought for their room? The tiny little plastic tea cups they drool all over during ‘tea time’.  The gum. Yes gum that they stuck to the bottom of their bed?  The sticky hot mess of drinks that were spilt in the car seat cup holders. 

I’ve talked about places to clean before, but I can’t help but find new places everytime I clean. New germ ridden locations in my house that I didn’t think about. It’s exhausting. Mentally and emotionally. If someone had told me being a mom meant finding questionable gunk hiding in random places all over my house for all eternity I may have reconsidered the mom job. Maybe. Probably not. 

Who am I kidding… I love my kiddos.  I want to make sure they are healthy and safe so when sickness plagues my household I go all out. The toothbrushes get replaced. The bedding gets washed. The walls get wiped down. The fake makeup gets thrown in the trash.  I supply myself with essential oils and antibacterials and go crazy. 

Stuffed animals get the sauna treatment in the dryer. The plastic stuff gets ran through the dishwasher​. I figure out what walls in my house need a new coat of paint and which ones just need a wipe down. 

 I’m hoping that my little one starts getting better soon. I don’t want both my kiddos sick. I also don’t want the ‘man flu’ to make an appearance. Nobody wants that hot mess!

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

Take care of yourself!

I have been sitting here in my quiet house, on a Friday night for an hour now.  Husband is working late. The tv is playing but I’m not really watching. I’m sewing on my machine​. Listening to the thunderstorms and enjoying the quiet. These nights come so few but I can’t help wishing I had something exciting to do. I’m bored of the same old “mom life” stuff. The laundry, the dishes, the cleaning, and the fighting with tiny humans to go to bed. I love to sew, and it’s relaxing but I’m burnt out on the repitition that is my life. Everyday, same old stuff. 

Since when did being a mom, mean not being able to have some fun? Since when does that mean that we are automatically home on the weekends and can’t let our hair down? It doesn’t. I want fun, romance, and adult conversation. I want hot dinner I don’t have to clean up and a movie that isn’t interupted by fighting kiddos. Hell, I’d settle for a long hot shower without children banging on the door. 

I can’t tell you the last time that I went to a store and bought something special for myself. I can tell you what I bought my girls, my husband, but not me. I’m sure there are moms that relate. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date with my husband. There used to be so many dinners and movies. Now it’s like we use the “we have kids” excuse too much. We do have kids, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go to dinner. It doesn’t mean that we can’t make time to keep the spark in our relationship lit. 

You can’t take care of your children, unless you take care of yourself. You can’t. So when you need a minute… Call up a friend, go to movie, go buy a milkshake. Find the time to take care of yourself. Kiss your husband, go to dinner and find time! Its important to not get “bored” or “burnt out”. I can’t be the best mom I can be without taking moments for myself to breathe and reflect on the stuff going on in my life. 

So tonight I’m going to enjoy this quiet house and this glass of wine. But tomorrow.. tomorrow my husband is taking me out for steak. He doesn’t know yet, so let’s not ruin the suprise! 

Hugs! -Kuddos and Kiddos

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We Have a Trickster in the House

So my toddler is becoming a real pro at tricking me. She’s slick. One of the things that she has recently got me with is naptime. She acts tired like she might lay down and then BAM. She’s bouncing around like somebody gave her a bag of Skittles. Hopefully nobody hid a bag in her room. I should probably check. I have some sketchy friends. Seriously though she is a real trickster.

Today I tried laying down with her in my bed. I tried that ‘fake sleep’ trick. I tucked her in and got her comfy and then laid perfectly still. She kissed me a couple of times, tried to pry my eyes open with her tiny fingers and even played with her toes awhile. 

Now here’s where the trick part comes into play. I’m not exactly sure when she fell asleep. I’m not sure when she finally got comfortable enough, or tired enough to give in. I’m not even sure if she was covered with a blanket or not because three hours later we were both waking up to my phone ringing. Yes I slept three whole hours. See what a trickster she is? I didn’t even know I was tired! 

Man did that nap feel amazing though.

She’s been on a roll lately. Figures that me trying to trick her  would backfire. 

Another event this week was the ‘cookie grab and ditch’. She kept asking me for cookies. I was also indulging on a few so how could I say no right? Well, I kept giving her cookies and she would disappear in her room with them. A few minutes later, she would come back for another one. I assumed she was eating them. Until I went to put laundry away in her room the next day and found them in her bottom dresser drawer. Haha. Kids. 

She also likes to hide behind my big living room curtains after she has done something she shouldn’t. I will almost always find a big mess, colored wall or knocked over mop bucket if she’s behind the curtain. Yesterday it was paperclips. All the paperclips had been dumped into the toilet. This is in the 5 minutes that it took me to switch the laundry around. Sigh.

I don’t remember being this clever at a young age. I have high hopes for this one. 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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Cookie Crumbs


So has anybody ever noticed that if you give a toddler a cookie it ends up in places they didn’t even take the cookie? How does that happen? How do they get tiny little crumbs all over places they didn’t even go near? Is it magic? Does the dog do it? Do the cookie particles move themselves? Seriously, what gives?

 I gave my toddler a cookie today. She took it in the living room. When I got into the living room to sit down there were crumbs on the chair, the floor and the back of the couch. She got cookie crumbs on the lampshade, that I’m pretty sure she never touched. 

She took it in the bedroom. There were crumbs on the floor the bed and on her favorite baby doll. She even managed to get crumbs on the remote. That she can’t even reach. Because it is high on her dresser.  So she either climbed up the dresser and I’m a terrible mother who doesn’t pay attention, or she threw her cookie crumbs up there. I mean, how in the heck did they get up there? I never saw her put them there. Her fingers can barely grab the top of the dresser. Ugh. Anywho…

She took the cookie into the bathroom. I obviously told her to get out of the bathroom.. but I had to clean up crumbs. They were on the floor and the side of the tub. Smashed into the rug, you name it. 

She took that same cookie into my room. She climbed on my bed and demanded the tv be put on. I got her off the bed and turned the tv on in the living room. Then guess what happened. Yup. I cleaned up cookie crumbs.  They were on the bed, the floor and on the desk. 

She ended up eating two more cookies. My life today was cookie crumbs. Also, when I went to get into bed tonight I had cookie crumbs in between the blankets.  She didn’t even get in between the blankets. 

Someone tell me how they do that! 

Hugs! – Kuddos and Kiddos

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